The Renaissance Faire
by Dragon's Return
Summary: Zelda wins six free tickets to a Renainssance Faire. What's gonna happen! Anything, really... Will they even survive the trip to make it to the faire? R&R! [COMPLETE!]
1. Hippie Cars suck

Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM or anything about the Renainssance Faire.  
  
A/N: This story is based on a real life trip me and my friends took to a Renainssance Faire! YEY!!! Nearly EVERYTHING in this story happened in Real Life. Yes, even the actors at the Renainssance faire, which you'll see next chapter or so. However, Before you read, KNOW THIS!  
  
MY COMPUTER CRASHED SO I NO LONGER HAVE MIRCOSOFT WORD OR ANY OTHER PROGARM WITH WRITING THAT HAS SPELL CHECK! IF YOU SEE WEIRD WORDS IN WRONG PLACES OR STUPID MISTAKES, DON'T FLAME, FOR IT WILL BE OUT OF YOUR OWN STUPIDNESS!!! WAAWHA!

  
_The Renainssance Fair  
Chapter One_

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* * *

Zelda was sitting in her room, trying get online with the computer. She clicked away at the mouse furiously. "DAMN YOU COMPUTER! WHY WON'T THE LITTLE ARROW CLICK ON THE ICON!!!" As she sat there, a pop-up flew onto the screen reading:  
  
"**ALERT!!!!** Your Computer's clock may be wrong! Does it say 10:40 AM and it's really 11:40 AM? Click here to download a 'free' program to fix your computers clock now!" And in very small print, "Free program costs $19.99."  
  
Zelda clicked it away and another appeared. "Is your computer running slower then normal? **CLICK HERE** to Download Spyware And stop those annoying advertisements!!" And at the bottom, it said, "Advertisement."  
  
Zelda clicked the exit button about eight times before it disappeared and another pop-up add showed. "**FREE PORN, FREE PORN, FREE PORN!** CLICK HERE TO SEE HOT YOUNG GIRLS STICKING THINGS WHERE THEY SHOULDN'T BE! BARELY LEGAL GIRLS GETTING IT ON!!!!"  
  
"GR!!!" She ran and leaned her head out into the hallway and yelled, "WHO HAS BEEN LOOKING AT PORN SITES ON MY COMPUTER!!!" No answer at first, but then an un easy cough from Mario was heard at the end of the hall.  
  
"It-a wasn't me, I swear!" He yelled, reviling that indeed it was him. Mario's own computer had it's internet access taken away because of, as Ness put it, 'Sounds', coming from the plumbers room at night.  
  
Zelda muttered something about preverted plumbers before going back and clicking away all of the pop-up adds abd signing onto 'SOL', Smashers On Line. She went to her mailbox and began to read. "Porn, porn, spam, spam, porn, spam, spam, spam, spam, porn, spam, spam, Oooh, I've just saved a bunch on car insurance by switching to Geico, spam, spam, DAMN IT!!! MORE SPAM AND PORN!!!" She was about to close the mail when she saw one last thing. The title read:  
  
"CONGRATULATIONS, ZELDA! YOU'VE JUST WON!"  
  
"Oh! I've just won! Yippie!" Zelda clicked on the mail and read. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"  
  
---Living Room---  
  
Roy, Link, Kirby, Marth, Ness, Captain Falcon, Dr. Mario and Samus were sitting on the floor holding hands, all whereing Rainbow shirts, chanting or something. Master Hand joined them, also wearing a rainbow shirt. "Hello all my friends!" The hand greeted.  
  
"Hello Master!" They responded.  
  
"It's time for our Happy-Time Song, Happy Campers!" Master Hand gestured for Crazy, who was wearing a rainbow shirt and holding a guitar, to float into the room. "Let's now get in touch with our feminine side."  
  
Crazy began to play his guitar and was about to start singing when Zelda bursted into the room. "HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT!"  
  
"You've come to become more in-touch with your feminine side?" Kirby asked. "I have already learned so much. I have learned that Girls are Smart."  
  
"Yes, and boys are idiots for not knowing that sooner..." Samus laughed.  
  
"HEY!" He yelled back. "We boys are alot smart then you girls! We don't take time to paint stuff that is just gonna get cut off!"  
  
"People! People!" Master Hand calmed everyone down. "Please, let us remember why we are here. Take a deep breath and recite our motto."  
  
The eight smashers took a deep breath and began chanting, "Wide open spaces...Wide open spaces...Wide open spaces for the little sheep to run in..."  
  
"Right..." Zelda said, taking a step back. "I just won six free tickets to the Renainssance Fair!"  
  
"Good for you Zelda!" Dr. Mario said, getting up and patting her on the shoulder. "I just want you to know, that I surport you in any choices you make, and you can always tell me anything."  
  
Zelda slapped Dr. Mario away, sending him into a wall. "I've already decicded to bring Link, Marth, Young Link and Roy along!"  
  
"Why us?!" Marth, Roy and Link yelled at once.  
  
"Because we need to get intouch with our medievil selfs." She replied. "That leaves one more ticket."  
  
"OH! OHHHHH!!" Ness said, rasing his hand. "LET ME GO!! PLEASE!!! I LOVE THE MEDIEVIL PEOPLE!"  
  
"Fine. Young Link will need someone to keep him busy anyway."  
  
"YES!!! When are we leaving!?"  
  
Zelda looked at the printed paper she held. "It started yesterday and lasts till next week. So let's go today!" She walked over, grabbed Link and pulled him away. "Come on boys!"  
  
---Outside---  
  
Zelda, Marth, Roy, Link, Young Link and Ness stood next to a broken down, hippie looking car. "This is your car Marth?" Roy asked.  
  
"Yeah...I stole it..." Marth said, kicking a wheel, only to have it fall off. "Hmm..."  
  
"CAN WE GO?!" Young Link, jumping into the back seat of the car, followed by Ness.  
  
Marth walked around to the drivers seat, opened the door and was about to enter when Zelda's hand pulled him down and to the ground. "HEY! What are you doing!"  
  
Zelda jumped into the drivers seat. "I'm driving."  
  
"It's my car..."  
  
"I know the way!"  
  
Marth growled. "Damn you. Remember what happened last time you drove somewhere?!"  
  
---Flashback---  
  
Zelda was in the drivers seat with about all the little Smashers in the back and Marth in the passenge seat. Take into note, they were on a HIGHWAY "Okay kids, we're almost home!"  
  
"YEY!!!!" They cheered.  
  
Suddendly, a tiny mouse jumped out from the side of the road. Zelda slamed on the breaks, but she hit the poor mouse, sending it flying a few feet in the air. Cause she stopped, this also caused a five car pile up after crashing into the back of Crazy Hands, 'Hand Five.' Zelda got out of the car, ran over to the mouse and began to cry. "I SWEAR! I SWEAR! IT JUMPED OUT AT MEEE!!!"  
  
"ZELDA! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!!" Marth yelled, sticking his head out the window.  
  
"I JUST KILLED PIKACHU!!!!"  
  
Marth looked over to see the dead body of a stupid little mouse. Not even big, not even yellow, just a little white mouse. "Zelda...That's not Pikachu." He turned his head to see a few thousand cars, trunks and vans all piled up, some on fire, people running around and all sorts of chaos. "Well...atleast it isn't like the time Peach drove us to the mall..."  
  
---Back to real life---  
  
"No."  
  
"I sure do! You were arrested for stopping short on the highway, ya idiot!"  
  
"But people didn't want me to go to jail!" She said with a silly smile. "I saw them from my window! They were outside protesting."  
  
"Zelda, first, that was for Martha Stewart."  
  
"Oh...yeah...right..."  
  
"AND THEN YOU WENT OUT TO HELP THEM PROTEST!!!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"IT WAS MARTHA STEWART!!!!!!!"  
  
"Shut up, I'm the smart one, what do you know? You know nothing. Now hurry up and get in or else I'm leaving you." Zelda said, slaming the door in his face.  
  
Marth grumbled and walked around to the other side, was about to get in when Roy bolted past him yelling, "I CALL SHOT GUN!"  
  
"Where can I sit then!?" Marth yelled at the redhead. Roy pointed to the backseat and laughed. He sighed, and opened the door into the back seat and sat down next to Ness.  
  
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...." Ness said, staring up at Marth.  
  
"Hi..." Marth repiled, looking uneasy at the boy.  
  
"Can I touch your sword?" Marth stared back at Ness for a while before he got out of the car, opened the trunk and climbed in. "Aww..."  
  
Link watch all this happen before going up to Zelda's door and asking, "Why do I have to go? Can I just stay here with the little old lady who doesn't move much?" He pointed to A little old lady in a wheelchair just sitting there on the lawn...just sitting...and staring...and sitting...  
  
"Because your a green man in tights. LETS GET MOVING!!" Zelda yelled, yanking Link in through her window and tossing him into the backseat. "Time to floor it!!!" Zelda slammed her foot on the gas peddle, sending the already messed up heap of junk across the lawn, almost hitting the old lady, and crashed through the gate, Zelda laughing like a maniac all the way.  
  
---Driving! Yey Driving!---  
  
Zelda was driving like any normal person would. "Soooo..." She started, trying to start a conversation. "Have any of you been to the faire before?"  
  
"Nope!" All the boys repiled at once.  
  
"Uh-huh...So we have no idea what it's gonna be like when we reach there."  
  
"Zelda, how did you win those tickets?" Link asked. "I don't remember you saying anything about a contest."  
  
"Um...HEY! WHAT IS THIS!?" She yelled, looking over at the highway they were about to merge onto, filled with traffic. "What's going on!!"  
  
Young Link looked out his window to see the roads pulled up and orange little cones on the side of the road. "It looks like construction."  
  
"Stupid Construction Workers...Why do they wait till NOW to pave the highway! Why not durning the summer!"  
  
"Because that's when everyone is going to the beach!" Ness said. "I never got to go to the beach..."  
  
Zelda ingored him. "Noooo, I bet they were all out in the sun tanning those Construction working muscles of theirs...oooh...yeah...thats it..." She began to day dream, making the car go a little to far to the right.  
  
"Zelda! Zelda! ZELDA!!" Roy yelled, grabbing the wheel and turning it just before the car could hit another car. "Pay attention!"  
  
"What? Oh no..." Her face went pail white. "I didn't just run over Pikachu again, did I?!"  
  
"No, you didn't!" Roy yelled. "Now take the wheel and lets get on the highway."  
  
So they do that. Zelda drives nice and slow onto the highway, only to come to a halt about two inches away, where they stood still for about a half hour. "ARGH! THIS IS STUPID!" Zelda yelled. To their right, a car wizzed past them. They turned and saw that the person was using the lane for pulling cars over to drive. "Hey, now that is mean...Roy, yell at them and tell them they are mean."  
  
Roy stuck his head out the window and yelled, "YOUR MEAN!"  
  
Zelda put her thumb to her chin and thought. "I am getting an evil idea. Links!"  
  
"YES!" Both Links yelled.  
  
"I want you to shot your grabbling hooks at the next car that drives by in that lane, okay?"  
  
"YES MA'AM!" The Links took out their grabbling hooks, rolled down the back window, stuck their heads out and waited...and waited...and waited...THEN A CAR CAME!  
  
"FIRE!!!"  
  
Young Link and Link both fired their hooks, and they both landed in the side of the car. Now the fun begins, as the car was going so fast, it began to drag along their own. "Okay every, buckle up!" Zelda said, fixing her seatbelt. (A/N: I see the next sceen so good in my head...Just picture it as a car flopping over and around and stuff.)  
  
The Truck began to pick up speed, dragging the Smasher's car along. However, the speed was so great, the van they were in began to flip over towards one side...then to the next...then soon it was flopping all different ways, spinning in the air. Zelda was laughing, Roy was holding onto his arm rests for dear life, and Ness, who had neglected the fact the the middle seat DOES have a seatbelt, was being sent flopping all around the car and the Link's were holding onto their grappling hooks. It tilted over to the left and fell on its side, but as the Truck turned, the Smasher's car flipped over and landed on its other side, breaking the windows. Then it happened. The Truck they had hooked onto hit a bump and for some unknown reason, the Smasher's car flipped up into the air and landed upside down. "Oh Roy, be a dear and turn on the radio for me." Zelda said, acting all nice and calm.  
  
Roy reached for the raido, but when the sound of the metal roof begining to break was heard, went back to holding on to the arm rests. Young Link's chain was begining to snap. "Link! I...I Can't hold one much longer!!!" He yelled  
  
"HANG IN THERE!"  
  
"It's...to...Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!" Young Link said as his chain broke, sending him flying back into the car and began bouncing around Ness.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Link noticed that his chain was begining to break. "No...must...hold on...for...Young Link!" But it was too late. Link's chain also snapped, causing him to fall back. The truck sped up and away leaving the Smasher's car to go flying off the side of the road, spin a few times in the air, then land on rightside up in a ditch five miles away.  
  
"Well, that was fun!" Zelda said with a cheerful smile.  
  
"Do me a favor Zel, okay?" Roy asked breathing very heavly. "Define 'fun'..."  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: Did you enjoy Chapter 1? I hope you did...AHA!! Yes...it was fun to write...n.n


	2. Starbucks is evil!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you are about to read  
  
A/N: Hello there everyone! In this story, I'm gonna thank my reviewers! Maybe that will get people to reveiw...(Sees he has no reviews) Uh-huh...

  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter Two_

* * *

The broken down hippie car is crawling down the street, emitting pitch black smoke from its exhaust pipe. All the windows are broken and the metal has been ripped to pieces. "Zelda..." Moaned Young Link holding an ice pack to his head. "The fumes are making me dizzy..."  
  
"DEAL WITH IT!!" Zelda yelled.  
  
"Little Link, it's best not to get mommy angry when she's driving..." Roy told Young Link.  
  
"She's my mommy?!" Young Link said his eyes opening wide. "No...It...IT CAN'T BEEEEEEEEE!!"  
  
"Mother Zelda..." Ness said quietly. "I'm hungry. Can we stop at the next fast food place?"  
  
Zelda was to busy trying to give the finger to the people driving next to her to notice. "Wha? Oh, whatever..."  
  
"YEY!!!" Ness cheered, rushing over Link and looking out what was left of the Window. "LOOK! A MCDONALDS!" Ness pointed at the golden arches. "Zelda! Stop! STOP!"  
  
Zelda, instead of stopping as the boy asked, slammed on the gas peddle and zoomed off down the road, running three red lights and two stop signs, muttering something about how the people in the next car looked like pixies. After about another 15 minutes of driving...  
  
"Oh, Look, LOOK!" Young Link yelled pointing out his window. "BURGER KING!"  
  
"I see a McDonalds!" Ness added. "That makes it Burger King three and McDonalds eight! Zelda, you said we can stop at the eighth fast food place we pass!"  
  
"What? Oh...I ment...Eighty-seventh...Yeah...That's what I meant." After another 15 minutes of driving... "What? Oh...I meant...Eighty-seven thousand..."  
  
Ness and Young Link snapped their fingers and went back to looking out their windows. "McDonalds..." Ness said dully.  
  
"All around the blueberry bush, the monkey chased the wiener...the wiener thought it was all in fun...CRUNCH Goes the wiener..." Young Link sang.  
  
"Burger King...Starbucks..."  
  
Young Link gasped and turn at Ness. Link also seemed shocked and Roy turned around with an equally shocked face. "Did...did you just say Starbucks?" All three asked, with a hint of fear in their voice.  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
The Three other boys turned towards Zelda, who eye's were twitching and foaming at the mouth. "Must...have...STARBUCKS!!!!" She screamed, turning the car sharply and pulling into the Starbuck's parking lot, causing the three cars behind to crash.  
  
---Parking Lot---  
  
Zelda parked their hippie car in a parking space, removed her seatbelt and dashed into the Starbucks before you could say, 'Hey Zelda, are you foaming at the mouth?'. "Damn it Ness!" Link yelled at the boy. "You just HAD to say Starbucks didn't ya!"  
  
"I'm sorry..." He said, sighing. "I didn't know Zelda was a Starbucks slave."  
  
Roy unhooked his seatbelt and grabbed Ness by the collar. "EVERYONE is a Starbucks Slave..." Roy said. "You go in their once...you never come out..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I've seen it...when Marth dragged me in there once..." Roy dropped Ness, who fell to the car floor with a thud. "Those workers, no, ZOMBIES, are...are so nice...they just...pull you in as you order...then...they take so long to give you want you want so...so...You sit down and wait on...the... COUCHES OF HELL!!! They are so soft...and so pretty...you just can't get up...and they place music...MUSIC OF THE DEVIL!!! Then...they tell you...you can go on the Internet...THE INTERNET FOR HADES!!!!" Roy said, looking around the car. "And they give you your coffee or your cookie... Which...are really...MIND CONTROLLING MONSTERS!!!"  
  
Ness and Young Link gasped and hid behind Link. "Roy! Your scaring the little ones..."  
  
"It must be done...we must scare them to save them!! Then...when you think you gained the will power to leave, oh no...your friends come in...AND THEN YOU TALK!!! THERE IS NO ESCAPING STARBUCKS!!!!!!"  
  
"Then how did you and Marth escape?" Young Link asked.  
  
"It had to close...luckily, it was only a 12 hour Starbucks...but...I fear they have gotten longer hours since then..." Roy's eyes narrowed. "Their open 24 hours..." The entire car gasped. "I fear it is too late for Zelda. WE MUST SAVE HER!!!" The four bolted out of the car and headed towards the entrance of Starbucks.  
  
---Starbucks---  
  
Roy and Ness stuck their heads around the corner to peer into the window. They saw two woman sitting on the couch talking, a man sitting in a chair reading, a Starbucks worker sweeping the floor and Zelda up at the counter ordering. "Guys, it's gonna be harder then we thought..." Roy whispered. "We've got three slaves blocking the way, along with their ringleader..."  
  
"DAMN!" Link yelled in a whisper. "How are we gonna save Zelda!!!"  
  
"I've got a plan..." Roy jumped out from their hiding place and jumped through the window in front of the store. He fell to the floor with all pieces of glass sticking from his body and was bleeding all over. Roy began to push himself up as the store worker ran to his aid.  
  
"Sir, are you all right?" He asked.  
  
"Don't touch me, you zombie!" Roy said, standing up and pushing the worker into the wall. "ZELDA! WE HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU FROM THIS FATE!"  
  
Link, Young Link and Ness burst in from the front door with waterguns in hands. "NOBODY MOVE!" They all yelled.  
  
The three customers began to run around screaming as the worker reached into his pocket and pulled out a walkie-talkie. "We've been discovered!" The man said into the machine.  
  
"Damn it! Pull out! PULL OUT!!! I'll take care of them..." Came a familiar voice.  
  
The Worker hit a button on the wall and alarms began to go off around the entire store. All the windows and doors were then covered in a sheet of steel. "We're trapped!" Young Link said looking around.  
  
"Yes, you are..." Came the voice of...FOX!  
  
"Fox..." Roy muttered.  
  
"Hello Roy. I see you discovered my little secret." Fox said. He was wearing a Starbucks uniform and a pin saying, 'Hello, I'm Fox!'  
  
"Heh. Yes Fox. You never fooled anyone." Roy lifted his finger and pointed. "YOUR THE OWNER OF STARBUCKS! I KNEW IT EVER SINCE THE DAY I WENT INTO YOUR ROOM AND SAW THOSE STARBUCKS LOGOS ALL AROUND!"  
  
Fox let out an evil laugh. "Yes, I am the owner. But you know to much. About a nice hot cup of COFFEE!" Fox reached behind his back and took out a burning hot cup of coffee and threw it Roy. It exploded and turned into a river of boiling hot coffee and rushed towards the four.  
  
"Everyone! Get around me!" Ness said, jumping in front of the river and activating his PSI Shield. The brown substance hit the shield, but it was turned into light blue sparkles and disappeared into the air. Soon, all the coffee was gone and Ness fell to the ground. "Go on without me..." He said before he passed out onto the floor.  
  
They turned to see that Fox was running towards the back of the store. "LINKS!" Roy yelled, pointing his hand at Fox.  
  
The two Links pulled out their bows and shot. Young Link's shot missed, but Link's hit the target and went into Fox's right leg. Fox fell to the ground moaning. "Damn! WORKER BOY!" He yelled.  
  
"YES SIR!" Answered the Worker Boy. He took out a remote and pressed a button. The eyes of the two woman and one man turned a deep crimson. "GET THEM!" He commanded.  
  
The three humans jumped at the three Smashers chanting not nice things. "Don't hurt them, they're humans!" Young Link said. Just then, Zelda joined in the fight, but for the Starbucks lovers. "She's not human! Hurt her!" Young Link dashed off towards the Worker Boy with Zelda following.  
  
Roy and Link withdrew their swords and swung at the three humans. Scared, they backed away before jumping at them again. Link took out a bomb and tossed it at them. It exploded, but inside it contained smoke, blinding the vision of the humans. Roy jumped into the smoke and whacked the first woman in the head with the back of his sword as Link did the same to the man. The Last woman jumped out of the smoke and took out her laptop. She pressed a few button and a cable flew from it and into the smoke. It hit Roy and made him fall to the ground. "ROY!" Link yelled, running to his fallen friend. "Roy, are you...okay?"  
  
Roy's face was pale white and his body was turning into 1's and 0's. "Link...stop...theeeeee-" He couldn't finish his sentence, as he was sucked up into the computer.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Link glared at the woman who was standing their laughing. "You...YOU TURNED MY FRIEND INTO MATH!!!"  
  
"So?" The woman asked coldly. "You'll be joining him too!"  
  
"I'VE NEVER LIKED MATH! OR COMPUTERS!!!" Link charged at the woman and stabbed her in the gut. The woman fell to the ground dead within seconds. "Stupid Math Teachers..."  
  
Young Link ran towards Worker Boy and jumped at him. "GIVE THE REMOTE!" He yelled reaching for the machine, but was kicked down to the ground by Zelda. "Oof! Zelda! What are you doing!" He asked, standing up. "Don't you remember me?!"  
  
"She doesn't remember anything anymore!" Worker Boy laughed. "So just give in!"  
  
"NEVER!!!!" Young Link charged at Zelda, but she simple held out one hand, placed it on his forehead and held him back.  
  
"Ha!" Both Zelda and Worker Boy said.  
  
Young Link dropped his sword and pointed. "ZELDA! LOOK! STARBUCKS!"  
  
"WHERE?!" She asked turning around. Young Link took this chance to jump at Worker Boy.  
  
Worker Boy was tackled by Young Link and the two began fighting over the remote. "IT'S MINE!" Young Link yelled, pulling it towards him.  
  
"NO, IT'S MINE!" Worker Boy said, pulling it towards himself.  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MIME!" The two turned to see a Mr. Mime wearing a Starbucks uniform doing a stuck in the box trick. "MIME! MR. MIME!"  
  
Young Link took this chance to steal the remote and stab it with his sword, breaking it along with the control spell. "Ha! Take that boy!" He laughed.  
  
"Damn it..." Worker Boy mumbled, standing up. "YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!" The boy threw a ball on the ground which exploded into smoke and when it cleared, the worker was gone.  
  
"Ooooguh..." The man and woman moaned, standing up.  
  
"LINK!" Young Link yelled, running over to his older self. "The spell, it's broken!"  
  
Link was crying and wasn't paying attention to Young Link. "Roy...he's been turned into MATH!" He cried.  
  
Just then, 1s and 0s began to appear next to Link and Young Link. "HAH! I knew I was smarter then math!" Roy said, standing there with a smile on his face.  
  
"ROY! YOU'RE NOT MATHATIZED!!!" Link said, jumping up and hugging Roy. "YIPPIE!"  
  
"Of course not..." Roy said, pushing Link off him. "But...we have something to take care off..." They turned to see Fox limping away into the back room, still with the arrow in his leg. The three chased after him and trapped him. "The game is over!" Roy said laughing.  
  
"You can't escape!" Both Links said.  
  
Fox growled. "So be it..."  
  
Roy charged at Fox with his sword drawn. "I MUST KILL YOU TO SAY THE WORLD!!"  
  
"ROY!" Fox yelled, shielding himself. "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful then you can possibly imagine."  
  
"Screw that!" Roy stabbed Fox, who fell to the ground. "HA! WE'VE SAVED THE WORLD!!!"  
  
Zelda stormed into the back room, holding her coffee. "What the hell are you three doing?! Let's get going! We're wasting time!" Zelda grabbed both Roy and Link by their ears and dragged them to the car, followed by Young Link who was carrying Ness.  
  
---Driving---  
  
"Look guys!" Roy said, pointing at a sign that read 'Renaissance Faire'. "We're here!!!"  
  
"YEY!!!" The Links, Zelda and Ness cheered. Zelda pulled into the parking lot, which was nothing but rocks and grass for as far as the eye can see. "Um, is this the fair?" Zelda asked, turning off the car.  
  
Ness and Young Link bolted out of the car and looked towards the South. "Looky!" They said. "It's a rusty satellite dish! Is that the fair?"  
  
"I doubt it..." Link replied, stepping out of the car. "It think it would be over there, with the other people." He said, pointing towards where some people were walking up a hill.  
  
"Well, as much as I love rust, LETS FOLLOWING THE PEOPLE!" Zelda yelled, grabbing Link and running towards the hill followed by Roy, Ness and Young Link...  
  
---Trunk---  
  
"Hello? Hello? Zelda? Roy? Link? Can someone let me out!!!"  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: Hehe, poor Marth. Poor Fox. Poor Worker Boy. Poor everyone.


	3. Welcome to the Faire

Disclaimers: I do not own anything within this story.  
  
A/N: Hi. I would like to say thank you, thank you to all my lovely reveiwers. All Four of you. XD Hehe.  
  
**THANK YOU!**  
  
A/N: Now on with the story...  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 3_

* * *

Zelda, Link, Roy, Young Link and Nessy walked over towards where there was a big mob of people standing. "Um, pardon me...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND FOR?!" She asked.  
  
The people turned towards Zelda, gave her a death glare and turned back to what they were reading. "Zelda, It says, 'Shuttle Bus Stop'." Link pointed out.  
  
"Oh...Ok...WE'RE NOT LAZY!!!" She turned and pointed up a giant hill. "LET US WALK UP THE HILL!!!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"NO BUTS LINKY!" Zelda said, grabbing Link and running up the giant hill.  
  
"Isn't the fair that way?" Ness asked, pointing a sign saying, 'RENAISSANCE FAIRE, THIS WAY'.  
  
"Yep." Roy said. "And, sadly, Zelda has our tickets, so we're gonna have to wait here till they come back."  
  
About ten minutes later, Zelda returned with a smile on her face and a panting Link. "Okay! We've climbed the hill!"  
  
"Yeah...we've climbed the hill..." Link said, almost passing out.  
  
"Good, cause we're gonna have to climb another hill to get to the fair." Young Link said, pointing to where the sign said to go. At this time, Link's body fell limp. "Is he okay?"  
  
"Oh don't worry about him Young Link!" Zelda said patting the mini link on the head. "He's just checking his eye-lids for holes."  
  
---Giant Hill---  
  
The five began to walk up the giant hill towards the Renaissance Faire...or atleast what they hoped was the faire. The group spilt up into two, Ness and Young Link in the front and Roy and Zelda in the back, carrying the KOed Link. "Bsst, Young Link!" Ness whispered.  
  
"What?" He replied.  
  
"I'm hungry..."  
  
"They should have food at the fair."  
  
"But I can't wait that long..."  
  
"Your just gonna have to learn..."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Ness and Young Link turned around to see Zelda bolting past them screaming. "SPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERS!"  
  
"It wasn't a spider..." Roy mubbled, now alone dragging the body of Link. "It was a peice of fuzz..."  
  
Ness and Young Link looked at ech other, shrugged and kept walking. As they walked, a group of Four Cloaked figures brushed past them. "Those guys have cool costumes!" Ness said. "I WANT A COSTUME!!!"  
  
"Bsst...Yo..." Came a grumbled voice from inside the forest. The two boys turned and faced a fifth cloaked man. "I've got something you two might want..."  
  
"Zelda told me never to talk to people wearing Black Cloaks!" Young Link said backing away.  
  
"No, I'm a friend...I've got...something for you..." The figure handed Ness and Young Link a shinny gold ring. "It's...The Ring..."  
  
"The ring?" They asked, picking it up.  
  
"Yep. I have forseen the future...You'll need it..."  
  
"It's pretty..." Ness said holding it up to the sky, only to have the glare shine back into his eyes. "AW DAMN IT!"  
  
Young Link took the Ring from Ness and put it on. "What's it do?" But the figure was gone. "Werido... Look!" Young Link said pointing. "It's the light! The Light at the end of the forest!!" The two ran towards the light! They ran... and ran... and ran... and then saw what they had just ran into. "Ness...is this..."  
  
"Yeah...it is..."  
  
They had just ran into another Parking Lot. The two of them were standing on a bridge along with Zelda, who was leaning over the side and watching the waterfall. "OOOOOOOH! ITS SO PRETTY!!!" She said, leaning over trying to touch the water.  
  
"Zelda, is this the fair?" Asked Ness.  
  
"Huh? Fair? No this is the faire."  
  
"So it's the fair?"  
  
"No, it's the faire."  
  
"Okay." Ness turned to Young Link. "Let's go to the fair!"  
  
"YEY!"  
  
"ITS NOT THE FAIR, IT'S THE FAIRE!! F-A-I-R-E!"  
  
"What about a Fairy?"  
  
"Come boys." Zelda said, grabbig Ness and Young Link's hands. "Let's go to the faire."  
  
"What about Roy?" Asked Ness as the two we're being dragged away.  
  
"Don't worry about him, he's a big boy..."  
  
---Back in the Forest---  
  
Roy was limping up the hill still holding the body of Link. "Stupid Zelda. Stupid Fuzz. Stupid Spiders..."  
  
"Bsst...Yo..." Came a grumbled voice from the forest. Roy turned to see a cloaked man standing there. "I've got something you might want."  
  
Roy backed away a little. "Zelda told me never to talk to men in Black Cloaks..."  
  
---Parking Lot #2---  
  
"Zelda, what does that building say?" Young Link asked, pointing towards a giant, broken down yellow building. It's windows were stained red and the letters A-U-G-H-T-E-R and the word 'House' could be read in red print on the side.  
  
Zelda thought about it for a second and looked over to see the letter 'L'. "It says, Laughter House!"  
  
"Oh! Laughter is fun! Can we go in?! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!" The boy begged, pulling Zelda towards the yellow building.  
  
"I don't see why not!" Zelda said with a smile as the three ran over towards the entrance sign. They were only in for about a second before they bolted out, Zelda's face pale white, Ness crying and Young Link puking on the ground.  
  
"Zelda, do Cow's look like that all the time?" Ness said between sobs.  
  
"I...am never eating hamburgers again..." The princess moaned. They didin't notice the very very last letter, 'S'...  
  
"HELLO EVERYONE!" Roy yelled, now dragging the KOed Link by his legs. He stopped as he saw the three lying on the floor crying or puking. "Um...Are you guys drunk?" He looked up to see what the building was that they had stopped at. "Hey, it's a Laughter House! Is that like another word for Fun House?" Roy dropped Link's legs and was about of open the door when Zelda stopped him.  
  
"Thou does notifh wish to enter yonder doors." She said, holding her hand up.  
  
---Entrance to the Faire---  
  
After about ten minutes of crying, puking and all other stuff bad, they group of five headed across the street and up towards a booth saying, 'TICKETS'. Off in the distances a woman was yelling, "HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BUY THOU'S PROGRAMS TODAY!" She yelled, waving giant bell.  
  
"I'll buy one!" Roy said, taking a program.  
  
"That will be 10 Dollars, sir."  
  
"TEN DOLLARS?!" He yelled shocked. "That's...that's-"  
  
Link put his hand on Roy's shoulder. "Just let it go Roy. There is nothing you can do."  
  
"When did you get up?"  
  
"About the time you were talking with the cloaked man."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you were up!?" Roy yelled.  
  
Before Link could answer, Zelda, with a very evil look in her eye, appeared behind the two and tapped them on their shoulders. "Just WHO has been talking with CLOAKED MEN!?"  
  
"He did it!" Link said, pointing right at Roy.  
  
"Oh...IT'S TIME TO DUEL!" Zelda jumped at Roy and suddenly...Roy and Zelda turned into little chibi versions of themselfs and started a turn base fight! (A/N: Picture them like in SMRPG!) Zelda ran up and slapped Roy, causing a little white '6' to float over his head. Roy charged up at Zelda and swung his sword and a little white 103 appeared. Zelda ran over to Roy and held up a peice of paper reading: 'DIN'S FIRE'! She fired a din's fire at Roy, who took a full 10 damage. Roy ran over to Zelda, swung his sword again and the number 203 appeared over her head. Geno suddenly appeared and fired his Geno Whirl, doing 9999 Damage to Zelda, who then popped, sending coins everywhere. Roy turned around and gave the peace sign while Geno just nodded and victory music began playing.  
  
"Uh-huh...How come they get good graphics?!" Ness asked.  
  
"Your game had good graphics..." Young Link told Ness. "It was your enemy's who you hated..."  
  
Ness growled. "New Age Retro Hippies... Grrr..."  
  
"Woah...." Zelda moaned, standing up. "I feel as if the entire world just fell on me then laughed. So I wept, precious. I wept to be so alone..."  
  
"Can we go in now?!" Link asked, bouncing up and down. "Canwecanwecanwecanweeeeeee!?!"  
  
"YEP!" Zelda reached into her pockets and dug around for the paper. "Hm, not there..." She checked her other pocket. "It's not there either..."  
  
"Zelda, please tell me you remembered the paper!"  
  
"Oh here it is!" Zelda said, reaching into her shirt and pulling out the paper. "I put stuff on importance in my bosom."  
  
"Why?" Asked Roy.  
  
"Cause then everyone tries to get it!" Zelda skipped up to teh booth reading, 'PRE-ORDERS' and gave the woman behind the counter the paper. "I've come for my free tickets!"  
  
The lady looked at the paper before brusting out laughing. "You?! YOUR THE WINNER?! HA! Sad...It must just be random drawing. Here ya go." The woman handed Zelda six tickets.  
  
"Okay!" She gave one to Link, one to Roy, one to Ness, on to Young Link and kept one for herself. "Hm...I have an extra ticket..."  
  
Roy thought for a second, then remembered who had also come on their trip. "Uh-oh..."  
  
---Truck---  
  
Marth began stabbing the the roof of the trunk with his sword. "I MUST SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" His sword poked through the metal hull, only to have the trunk be flooded with light. "AH! THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT, IT BURNS!!!"  
  
---Entrance---  
  
"Oh well, we'll just give it to him!" Zelda said, pointing at Geno. She handed him the ticket, which he took and began to look over.  
  
"Is this a Star Peice?!" Geno asked. "No...I sense evil coming from it...EVIL!!!" Geno threw the ticket up in the air and fired his finger shot at the paper, ripping in half.  
  
"Right...Okay boys, lets get moving!" Zelda ran into the faire, ingoring the sign saying, 'Have Tickets ready for collection'.  
  
The other four guys gave their tickets in and walked over to Zelda who was looking at a store. "So can we go off on our own?" Asked Young Link.  
  
"Sure whatever...I'll be over there..." Zelda said, pointing to a sigh saying, 'Ye Old Coffee'. She walked over to the shop with a slight twitch in each step.  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: Yey! They made it to the Faire! And in One Peice!... or atleast Five of them...Who was the mystery cloaked man who gave Young Link and Ness a ring? Will we find out?! OH NO! 


	4. Villains and a Hooker

Disclaimer: Hi! I don't own anything you are about read...Or...do I?  
  
A/N: Enjoy Chapter 4!!!! Lot's a plot twists!! And a hooker!  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 4_

* * *

---Ye Old Coffee---  
  
Zelda broke the door in and stood there, her dress flowing in the wind. The other faire-goers hid under their chairs and tables as she made her way up to the bar and sat down. "What will it be..." Asked the Bartender, reaching for his sword at the his.  
  
"A coffee...that's coffee, not tea..." Zelda said glaring at the Bartender.  
  
"Right." Bartender walked over and grabbed a cup of coffee grains, made the coffee and handed it to Zelda.  
  
She ripped it away from the Bartender, drank it in one gulp and slammed the cup on the counter. "Hit me."  
  
---Um...Town?---  
  
The boys are wondering around a medievil dirt path. "I'm bored!" Ness whined. "I'm also hungry! And thristy!"  
  
"Right, let's find these little brats something to eat." Link said to Roy, as they passed around a corner.  
  
Young Link looked up towards the north and saw a wizard in a blue robe standing under a tree. "WIZARD!"  
  
The wizard in blue robes waved as the sun shone down on his in a god-like way making him glow. "Wow..." Ness gaped.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Roy screamed, then running over to a stand of jewels. "Like, oh my gawd! Look at these cat statues!"  
  
Link stared at the swordsman. "Roy, you don't like cats..."  
  
"Oh yeah. EWWWWW!!!" Roy then deciced to blow the stand up.  
  
"Hey! Your-a paying for that!" Came a voice from the dust that sounded like a certain green plumber.  
  
"NO!" Roy yelled, then turned and ran off.  
  
"If we don't catch him, he'll stay out there for years!" Ness exclaimed. "LET'S GET HIM!"  
  
---Unknown Area---  
  
It was a dark, dark, pitch black area...if you don't mind the giant window at the end of the room. One beam of light fell in the middle of the room, where a tall cloaked figure stood. The cloaked figure who gave the kids and Roy a ring walked up to another, taller cloaked figure. "Did they get the rings?" Asked the taller figure, who had the voice of a women.  
  
"Yes, my lady." Answered the smaller figure.  
  
"Prefect." The woman turned around and began walking towards a window. The window was over looking the faire. "Soon, we can begin stage two of our plan...Then we can st- Boy is it hot in here..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
The woman took off her cloak to reveal...nothing...because the other Cloaked figure was blocking the way.  
  
"EEP! HEY! They can't find out who you are until AFTER you say your evil plans!" The cloaked man said. "Now put that cloak back on and we'll start over."  
  
---Unknown Area---  
  
It was a dark, dar- yeah you know. "Did they get the rings?" Asked the woman.  
  
"Yes, my lady." Answered the smaller figure.  
  
"Prrrrrrrrrrrrrefect!" The woman turned around and began walking towards a window. The window was over looking the faire. "Soon, we can begin stage two of our plan...Then we can start stage three, but we'd need to get through stage two first."  
  
"What is your prefect plan, my lady?"  
  
"I'll tell you!" The woman turned towards the Cloaked man. "Rememeber the once great kingdom off Starbucksel? Of the Starbucksians?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Their leader, Fox, was defeated." The cloaked man gasped. "Yes, surpirsing indeed. That is where we come in. We shall destory those who destory their leader and rebuild! The Starbucksains shall rule again! Once we defeat those Smashers, we'll move on to bigger and better things. We would conquer all that stands within our way. Toys R Us, Pizza Hut, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Lord of the Rings, IHOP, EVERYTHING!! STARBUCKSEL SHALL REIN AGAIN!!! Now, I've told the readers my evil plans, can I pleeeeeeeeease take off this cloak?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
The woman took off her cloak to reveal...  
  
The cloaked man gasped. "You?!"  
  
"Yes, it is me." Said the woman, who notice can not be seen yet. "Now, let us move onto stage two. Is our...'insider' with them?"  
  
The cloaked man nodded. "Yes. Shall I contac-"  
  
"That won't be needed. Now take off that cloak, your making me feel hot."  
  
"Are you coming on to me, my lady?"  
  
"Oh yes...I am..." Woman said, lying down a giant pink bed that just appeared. "You make me...so hot..."  
  
The cloaked man threw his cloak away to reveal...YOSHI!  
  
"Ha! Ah that is better..." Yoshi said with a smile.  
  
"Good! Now go tell the Four Slobs to get ready."  
  
"But, you just told me no-"  
  
"HEY!!! Who is the slut here!? I AM! NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND TELL THE FOUR TO KILL THOSE IDIOTS IF THEY RUN INTO THEM!"  
  
"Why don't we just kill them?"  
  
The woman sighed. "Wellll, I'm the evil one in this story. I never get my hands soiled!" She said in a 'duh' tone.  
  
"Whatever..." Yoshi mubbled and headed out.  
  
Woman stood up and laughed. "HA! Fool! He should know I'm only using him..." The light hit the woman in a such a inronic way, her face was lit up. She was...PEACH!  
  
---Faire---  
  
Link, Ness and Young Link were searching the area for Roy. "I don't see him..." Ness said, turning over a rock.  
  
"There!" Link yelled, pointing at a pond. "There he is!"  
  
Indeed Roy was there, standing on a dock jumping up and down with his purse in hand. "Looky! It's a boaty ride!"  
  
"I hate boats."  
  
"I love boats!" Both Roy and Young Link said in unison. "It's only 10 dollars to ride!" Young Link tugged on Link's tunic. "Can I go?! Please?! Pretty please, older and cooler one!!"  
  
"Well...Okay."  
  
"YEY!!!" Young Link ran up to Roy. "You're paying."  
  
Roy paid the man in charge 20 dollars and he handed him two life jackets. Roy placed one on himself and threw one at Little Link who pulled it over his head and jumped in the boat. "Hey, becarful! I don't want to sink again..." Roy said, thinking back to a time...  
  
---FlAsHbAcK---  
  
Marth, Roy, Fox, Luigi and Falco are sitting on a little boat fishing. "Why are we doing this again?" Asked Marth.  
  
"Cause it's either this or go to Starbuuu, um...Yeah...Starbuu. It's a new store." Fox said, kicking himself mentally, seeing the glare from Roy. "Buu runs it. You can buy candy there." He turned away from the other and muttered into his shirt. "Plan XDF4T.9Q!"  
  
Just then, a giant torpedo flew through the water and blew the poor little boat out of the water. Roy, Marth, Luigi and Falco fell into the water as Fox was whisked away on a giant floating Starbucks logo. Roy, holding on a peice of wood, flew his fist into the water. "DAMN!!! FOX!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
"What's wrong?" Falco said, standing up, as the water was only waist deep.  
  
"Fox...he's gone to the Brown side..."  
  
---Back with the heros---  
  
"Come on Roy! Let's go!" Young Link began to jump up and down as Roy boarded the little ship. "YEY! Okay time to gooooooooo!!!" Young Link yelled as he began to peddle, sending the boat flying out from the dock and towards the middle of the lake.  
  
"Bye-bye!" Link waved, then felt another tug on his tunic.  
  
"Linky...I gotta go potty!" Ness said with his legs cross and sweat running down his face.  
  
"Um...Okay, there should be bathrooms around here somewhere!!" Link spun around and pointed at a random bridge. "There! They would be over there!" The two ran over towards the bridge which read, 'Robin Hood Bridge'.  
  
"ROBIN HOOD IS HERE?!" Ness yelled looking around. "I WANT HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!"  
  
---Ye Old Coffee---  
  
Zelda picked up another cup of coffee, drank it down and slammed the empty mug on the table. "Hit me!"  
  
"I've think you've had enough..." The bartender said, taking the cug away. "At this rate, I don't think you'll be sleeping for another three days..."  
  
Zelda ingored what he said and grabbed him by the shirt. "Yo! I said I want MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!!!!!"  
  
"Okay! Jeez..." The Bartender quickly made another cup and handed it to Zelda.  
  
Zelda picked it up, with very very shaky hands. "A Cup full of Coffee helps the Sugar Rush go up!" She sang before drinking it in one gulp. "HIT ME!"  
  
The Bartender took the cup and muttered, "Yeah...I would like too..." He coughed and said, "Oh, there is no sugar in coffee...it's caf-"  
  
"I SAID HIT MEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
"Okay! Okay!"  
  
---Parking Lot #2---  
  
Marth was walking through the parking lot, his clothes all messed up and ripped...yeah, just picture him looking very very beat up. "I...hate...cars..." He muttered, then looked up to see a 'Laughter House' infront of him. "What the hell is a Laughter House?" He walked around the side and towards the door...  
  
---Unknow Area---  
  
Peach stood looking out her window. "Hahahaha!" She laughed, looking down at Ness and Link heading towards the porta-potties. "Soon my little pawns, the time wi-"  
  
---Lake---  
  
"Isn't this f-"  
  
---The Entire Faire---  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
---Lake---  
  
"What the hell was that?!" Roy said looking around.  
  
"I don't know...and I don't want to find out..." Young Link replied, keeping up his steady pace of peddles.  
  
---Unknown Area---  
  
The glass then shaddered. "Ah! What the hell was that?!" She stuck her head out the window to see where the sound came from. She looked up, then to her left, then to her right, then down and read the words on the side of the building. "Maple Theater!! Oh so THAT'S where I'm hiding!"  
  
---Dirt Road---  
  
Ness and Link covered their ears. "Ouchy! What was that?!" Ness asked.  
  
"It sounded like Mar- Oh dear..." Link dropped his hands remembering where the Blueheaded swordsman had hidden.  
  
"What wrong?"  
  
"Marth must have found a hooker and taken her into the trunk with him. Thus meaning why he didn't complain on the way here!"  
  
"Well, if he was in the trunk Link, we wouldn't have been able to find him..."  
  
Link ingored Ness. "And the scream we just heard was..." His face went pale. "He just found his hooker murdered!!!" Ness gasped. "We've got to call in...RICHARD MOORE!"  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"That guy who's always with CONAN EDOGAWA!"  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"A guy who ca-"  
  
"OH! I seee! HAAHAAA!! I get it."  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: O.O nice chapter right? We have Villains! And a...'murder' case! And other stuff! 


	5. Un día brillante del sol con los cocos

Disclaimer: Hello. I don't own anything in this story.  
  
A/N: Wow...I just read the Cliff Notes on 'The Lord of the Flies'...o.o who the hell came up with that idea?! I'm re-posting this chapter cause on my comp, it doesn't show the entire chapter 5. Incase one of you is getting the same problem, here ya go! Also I'm changing the title! YEY!  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 5_

* * *

"Are we lost?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"I thought the bridge was this way!"  
  
"I know..."  
  
"And the worker girl said the potty was THAT way!"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Link, we've been going around in circles!" Link turned and glared at Ness, who was still jumping up and down. "C'mon Link! Listen to me for once!"  
  
"I know where I am Ness!" Link yelled at the boy. "Now let's go!" He grabbed his wrist and began pulling Ness towards the direction of where he thought the bathrooms where.  
  
"Hey! Ouch!" Ness moaned, trying to get free. "Your hurting me! Stop! HE'S ABUSING ME!!"  
  
Link sighed and let go of Ness's wrist and sat down on a rock. "I give up! We've been walking around for minutes and STILL no sign of anything but stupid faire goers!"  
  
"We're stupid faire goers!" Ness said with a dopey grin.  
  
Little did the two know, but a cloaked figure was watching them from the bushes. He picked up a walkie-talkie and spoke, "Mistress Peach, I have Little Boy-Brat and Fairy Man in my sight."  
  
"¡Excelente! Comience su ataque." Answered the voice of Peach.  
  
"Um...What?"  
  
---Maple Theather---  
  
Peach slammed her foot on the ground and screamed, "Dije comienzo el ataque! ¡Cuáles son usted, estúpido?! ¡Ataque! ¡Sóplelos para arriba! ¡Ahora!"  
  
"Your speaking in Spanish." Yoshi replied calmly, while watering his plants.  
  
"¿Qué? ¿Soy?" Peach asked turning towards Yoshi in surprise.  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
Peach let out a nervous laugh. "Oops...I said, begin the attack!"  
  
---Faire---  
  
"Oh! Okay!" The cloaked figure jumped out of the bush...only to see that Link and Ness had left. "Damn it!"  
  
---Lake---  
  
Roy and Young Link we're peddling at their top speed around the lake. The two of them were to busy singing a song to be paying attention to where they were going. "Hey Roy! Watch this!" Young Link said, standing up and walking to the edge of the boat. "I'M KING OF-"  
  
POW!  
  
His sentance was never finshed, as Roy had just crashed into another boat, causing a giant explosion. Roy, Young Link, and the two others were sent flying onto a island of grass in the middle of the lake, where as everyone else in a boat was then turned to ashes by a nuclear explosion.  
  
"Ouchies...What the fudge happened?!" Roy said, sitting up and looking around. As far as the eye could see was water.  
  
Young Link stood up, brushed the sand off his tunic and pointed at Roy. "HE DID IT!"  
  
"Hey! What did you- Link!?" Young Link turned to see who had just called him Link.  
  
"Geez..." Young Link moaned. "What great luck I have! Hello Malon..."  
  
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Malon smiled, jumping on Young Link. "I haven't seen you in a while!"  
  
"Please get off me..."  
  
Roy let out a laugh watching Young Link try and get out of Malon's tight grip. "HAHAHAHA! It's so fun to watch little kids have fights."  
  
"Hello there Roy!" Came the voice of...Zelda!!! "I was looking for you!"  
  
Roy took a step back. "ZELDA! Yo-You stopped drinking coffee!?" He exclaimed.  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Wi-WILLINGLY?!"  
  
"Well, sorta..." Zelda answered with a dopey grin.  
  
---FlAsHbAcK!---  
  
---Ye Old Coffee---  
  
"Hit me!" Zelda said, putting yet another empty cup on the bar. "And hurry!"  
  
The Bartender rushed and picked up the cup and gave Zelda a little peice of paper. "Sure, just read this first..."  
  
Zelda looked it over for a second before she noticed that the pretty symbols and large numbers could only mean one thing..."WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT IS THIS CRAP!?" Zelda yelled, looking at the bill.  
  
"It's you bill, my lady." The Bartender replied. "Sorry it's so much, but you had over 300 cups of Java, 50 Lattes, 20 Hot Cocoa's, And 7 cups of Folgers so you can just inhale the smell..."  
  
Zelda ripped the paper up and threw the peices at the man. "What do you think I am, huh?! MADE OF MONEY!?!"  
  
The Bartender looked to the ground. "Um...You said you were..."  
  
"WHEN!?"  
  
"About your 210th Java."  
  
"Oh..." Zelda grabbed the Bartender by his shirt. "Your service was crappy, I ain't paying!" But the Bartender quickly held up a recorder and pressed play.  
  
"Hi there, this is Mr. Bartender with his new favorite guest, Zelda!" The Bartender on the recorder said. "Zelda deary, how do you like the coffee?"  
  
"I wuv it!!!" Zelda said, sounding slightly drunk.  
  
"And our service?"  
  
"I wuv it!!!"  
  
"And our Bartender?"  
  
"I wuv it!!!"  
  
"And that's Mr. Bartender coming to you li-"  
  
"I wuv it!!!"  
  
"Live, from Zelda's 11th Cup of Cocoa!" The recording stopped, leaving a very shocked Zelda and a Mr. Bartender with a huge smirk on his face. "That's not what you said BEFORE!" He pointed out with a smile.  
  
Zelda snapped her fingers. "Damn you!" She yelled before leaving the Ye Old Coffee in a fit.  
  
"WAIT! YOU NEED TO PA-" The Bartender stopped mid-sentance when he heard a slight ticking of a clock under him. He looked down to see a giant bomb that had Zelda's face on it, along with the message: 'You corner Zelda, you get blow to little tiny peices. HAHA!' "...Sh-"  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
---End Flashback---  
  
"...So then I found this cute little girl-" Zelda pointed towards Malon who was still glomping Little Link. "And we went on a boat ride."  
  
"YEP!" Malon replied. "Aunty-Zelda told me that we'd find Link here!"  
  
"Young Link, deary." Zelda told Malon. "And back off, cause he's MINE!"  
  
Malon jumped off Young Link. "Ahem, first off, I don't WANT Li- Young Link! I want this guy!" She pointed to her necklace, which had the face of Bowser on it. (A/N: It really does, though. Go check it out!)  
  
Roy, Zelda and Young Link leaned in and looked. "Hey..." Young Link started.  
  
"Is that..." Roy added.  
  
"Bowser?!" Zelda screamed in shock.  
  
"Bowser?" Malon asked, tilting her head. "Oh! Yeah! His name! Right." She placed her head in his hands and began to day-dream. "I saw him on the news. He was so amazing. And then I saw his face on my necklace. I figured it was a sign! A sign from above that we were ment to be together!"  
  
"You keep dreamin', hon..." Zelda said, placing a hand on Malon shoulder.  
  
Roy then remembered that they were stuck on a island in the middle of nowhere. "AAAAAAH!!! WE'RE STUCK! WE'RE STUCK! WE'RE GONNA TURN INTO THOSE EVIL BRITISH KIDS FROM LORD OF THE FLIES AND START KILLING EACHOTHER CAUSE WE'RE STUCK ON THIS ISLAND FOREVER!"  
  
Malon's eyes went wide. "No! We can't be! We don't have any Choirboys!"  
  
"Huh? Roy...We're not stuck..." Young Link said, pointing towards land, which was the other way from which Roy was facing. "Look, you can see the people dancing around the May Pole."  
  
"Oh...forget everything I said! WE'RE SAVED!"  
  
---Porta-Potty Way---  
  
Link was standing outside three blue porta-potties, tapping his foot and looking at his watch. "God! It's been 10 Minutes! What the hell is he doing in there!"  
  
"You'll never find out, Link!" Link turned to see the Cloaked Figure standing there with his arm extended. "It's time for me to kill you! HAHA!"  
  
Link drew out his master sword. "And who, may I ask, is calling?"  
  
The cloaked man threw off his robe to reveal...  
  
"Mewtwo..." Link spat out. "Only you could be so bold..."  
  
Mewtwo gave a deep and evil laugh. "YES! I am Mewtwo, and I have come to kill you, Link! My mistress comands it!" Mewtwo charged at Link, with a Shadowball charging up. "DIE!" He fired the blast at the swordsman, but Link was able to jump over the orb and land on his feet.  
  
"Your becoming slower Mewtwo!" Link said as he ran towards Mewtwo with his sword ready and swung. Mewtwo created a psychic sheild and the blade's strike was absorbed. "..." Link jumped back and took out his bow. He pulled the string back and fired. The arrow whizzed through the air and hit Mewtwo in the leg.  
  
"Ouchie! Hey, that wasn't nice!!!"  
  
"I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!" Link jumped at Mewtwo again and was about to strike at him when Mewtwo used his PSI to teleport himself away. Link skidded to a stop and looked around. "Where did that little cat get to?"  
  
"RIGHT HERE!"  
  
Link looked up to see Mewtwo falling from above and right ontop of him, a shadowball ready. Link tried to dodge, but Mewtwo fell ontop of him, causing a giant explosion.  
  
---Porta-Potty---  
  
Ness was trying to open the door to the potty when he was knocked down by a giant shock wave. "Ouch!" He said, rubbing his head. As he stood up, noticed that he was now standing in...some nice brown mushie stuff. "........Ew......." Ness went back to banging on the door. "LET ME OUT!! I'M STUCK! IN A POTTY WITH BROWN MUSHIE STUFF!"  
  
---Outside---  
  
Mewtwo jumped out of the crater he had just made and gave a laugh. "Poor little Linky! Look's like he couldn't take the power!"  
  
Link rested on the ground, his limbs sprawled out and his head spinning. "Oooh...The sun is shining, It's a lovely day..." He muttered to himself.  
  
Mewtwo began to walk over towards the porta-pottie. "Nessy! Oh N-"  
  
"The prefect morning for the kids to play..."  
  
The cat pokemon sighed and turned back towards Link. "Your not dead yet, are you?"  
  
Link stared up into space with his dazzed look in his eyes. "But you have lots of bills to pay. What can you do?"  
  
"AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAA!" Mewtwo turned around to see kick the door to the potty open and the boy flew out along with a wave of the lovely 'brown mushie stuff'. "Mewtwo! Link!" Ness began running over to the body of Link. "Mewtwo! How could you! He was only trying to call up Conan so we could save Marth's hooker!"  
  
Mewtwo took a step back and began to charge up another Shadow Ball. He flicked it at Ness when it was finished and the little boy didn't stand a chance, as the purple flames covered his poor little body.  
  
---Maple Theater---  
  
Peach was pacing back and forth inside her dark chamber. "Damn it! How long does it take Cloaked #1 to report in!!!"  
  
"Maybe he was killed." Yoshi said, playing with a fire flower.  
  
"Hm...NAH!!" Peach picked up her walkie-talkie and asked, "Mewtwo, if you dead say something."  
  
"Um...I'm not dead." Mewtwo repsonded over the machine.  
  
Peach's face went pale white and she dropped the walkie-talkie. "No...HE'S BEEN KILLED!!!" Peach fell to the floor sobbing, but got over it quickly and stood up. "Very well." She picked the talkie-walkie again and spoke, "Mewtwo, if this is your ghost, I want you to return to 'The Keep.'  
  
"Why? I can kill Ness and Link ri-"  
  
"HURRY!"  
  
"Fine, fine!" The transmission went to static.  
  
---Porta-Pottie Way---  
  
Mewtwo shook his head. "What an IDIOT! Well...I can't risk that crazy woman killing my friend!" Mewtwo reached into his pocket and pulled out a peice of paper. He took out a pen and in very very sloppy handwriting, wrote down the following note:  
  
"To whom it may Concern  
  
_Dear Mister and Miss Link and Ness:  
  
Yes, I, Mewtwo, have just kicked your asses. And you wanna know why? Too bad, cause I can't tell you. But I warn you, if you want your death to be slow and painful...erm, painfully slow...um...painlessly quick, then you'd give yourself up to my lady! AHAHA!!  
  
Love,  
  
**XOXO Mewtwo XOXO**  
  
PS: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts and I bet YOU wanna see them._  
  
---Faire Entrance---  
  
"Here ye, Here ye!" The woman with the bell yelled. "Get thy programs here!" She saw a dark figure pass by. "Excuse me, sir, but mi-" Marth turned around, his face full of dirt and still pale white from the Slaughter House, his clothes messed up...he looks like a Zombie... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: Gasp! Mewtwo is a cloaked man! Malon is looking for Bowser! What about those Rings? Where did Peach learn to speak Spanish? Will Roy, Little Link, Malon and Zelda get off the island? Will Marth make it to the faire in time? Who is the inside? Is this the last we've seen of Mr. Bartender?! WHO KNOWS!!!

_Chapter Translation: "A Sun Shiny Day with Coconuts"_


	6. The Maze, The Whacking and The Future

Disclaimer: ....  
  
A/N: ......My life is ending......  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 6_

* * *

---Lake---  
  
Roy was paddling across the lake, trying to keep up with Zelda, Malon and Young Link. "Argh! Cramp! CRAMP!" He yelled and the redhead began to sink into the water. "So this is how it all ends..." He thought, watching the sun-lite water fading to darkness. "I drown?! ARGH!" A hand flew into the water and grabbed Roy by his collar and pulled him to the surface.  
  
"Roy, can you even pretend to down in water two inches deep?" Zelda asked, holding Roy by his neck in the 2 inches of water that were between them and the shore.  
  
"Um...."  
  
"Looky Aunty Zelda!" Malon said, jumping up and down. "It's a May Pole Dance!" Zelda and Roy turned to watch woman begin to dance around a giant pole with streamers, while lots of happy music was playing in the back. Malon and Young Link began clapping in rythme while Zelda just tapped her foot.  
  
"So this is how people had fun back in the middle-ages!" Zelda said with a smile, dropping Roy and joining in the clapping.  
  
"I feel like I'm a Hobbit!" Said Young Link.  
  
Roy and Zelda stared at Young Link. "You are..." The answered at once.  
  
The woman kept dancing as it got closer and closer to the ground. As they reached the bottom the music began to speed up until at last they had tied all of the streamers onto the May Pole, and all the woman fell to the ground dizzy. Young Link and Malon gave the dancers a standing ovation.  
  
"Wooo what a grat way to pass the time!" Young Link said with a smile.  
  
Roy looked around. "Hmm, Midget and Fairy-boy are gone..." He turned to Zelda. "Zelly, do you have Peach's magic cell phone?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Zelda said in a panic. "Why would I have_ her_ cell phone?! It's not like I'm working for her in a desperate attempt to rid you, Young Link, Link and Ness from the world so that the empire of Starbucksel to it's highest power and take over the world and anything that stands in it's way!" Roy's eyes narrowed as he stared at Zelda. "I swear it, check the script!" Zelda handed Roy the script which he flipped through.  
  
"Peach: Mawhuaha. Yoshi: Sup Peach. Peach: The Internet is really really great. Mewtwo: HEY!" Roy read aloud. "Zelda, you just made this up right now..."  
  
"Did not!"  
  
Roy handed the script back to Zelda, making sure the line reading, 'Zelda: I just made this up right now', was showing.  
  
"Oh! Maybe I did..."  
  
---Maple Theather---  
  
"Mawhuaha!" Peach laughed as she looked through her fashion magazine. "Mawhuaha!"  
  
"Peach?" Yoshi asked, walking up the mad princess.  
  
Peach turned around, grabbed onto Yoshi and began crying. "Oh Yoshi! My Life! My life sucks!" She cried.  
  
Dinoboy tried to push Peach off him, but she was too heavy. "Okay, yes, your life sucks." Yoshi moaned, trying to get away. "Now go cry on Mewtwo or Cloaked Guy #2!"  
  
Peach's eyes suddenly lit up. "That's right! Cloaked Guy Number Two! I forgets about him!"  
  
"PEACH!" Peach and Yoshi turned to see Mewtwo standing in the doorway. "I'm back, wh-"  
  
"GHOST! GHOST!!!" Peach screamed, whacking Mewtwo in the head with her frying pan, knocking the cat out cold. "Ahem, now where was I..." The Princess walked over to her Walkie-Talkie and spoke. "Yo! Cloaked Guy Number Two! Ya there?"  
  
Static.  
  
"Helloooooooooooooooooo!"  
  
Static.  
  
"Peach, it's upside-down." Yoshi said, carrying Mewtwo out of the room.  
  
---Not too far from the lake---  
  
A beat up Link and a smelly Ness where making their way down a dirt road. "Link! My feet hurt!" Ness complained.  
  
"So do mine..." Link answered, looking at the Note Mewtwo had dropped.  
  
"I'm hungry! My sleepy! Hey Look Link!" Ness said pointing. "It's a maze!"  
  
Link looked up from the note to see a maze made out of different color cloth. "You want to run around in the maze?" Asked Link.  
  
Ness turned towards Link and nodded. "Yes! It's every boys DREAM to run in a maze!" Ness ran up to Bowser, who was the worker at the maze! (GASP!)  
  
"Come one, come all!" The Giant turtle said. "Come to the maze of Bowtopalis!" Bowser looked down at Ness and his face went pale white. "Um..." Bowser picked up a piece of paper and hid his face. "I'm not here, please leave a message after the beep. Beep..."  
  
"Hello!" Ness said into the 'answer machine'. "I want to go in the maze. Hello? I know your there! PICK UP!" Ness turned to Link who was limping over. "They're not gonna pick up..."  
  
"Bowser..." Link said calmly. "Ness here wants to run around like a little llama in your maze. How much m-"  
  
Bowser threw the paper away and stared at Link and Ness with big adorable eyes. "Yo-You wanna run around in my maze?!" He asked, on the verge of tears. "No one wanted to run around in my maze!! THANK YOU SO MUUUUUUUCH!"  
  
"Yeah...How much money is it?" Link asked.  
  
"One Thousand Dollars for one person." Bowser said. "But It's Two Thousand for Three people! C'mon, that's a bargain!"  
  
Link turned towards Ness. "I have no money. Zelda still has mine, she thinks it's better if she holds onto it all..."  
  
The boy reached into his pocket and gave Bowser two dollars. "I'll give ya two bucks for both of us!"  
  
"Works for me!" Bowser said, taking the money. "Now get lost!" Ness and Link entered the maze as Bowser's shell began to vibrate. "Wazzzzup?!" He said into the walkie-talkie.  
  
"Bowser!" Peach said. "I want you to kill Ness and Link!"  
  
"What?! Why?! They gave me money!"  
  
"Oh, if they gave you money they can't be all bad..."  
  
"Peach!" Yoshi's voice was heard, taking the walkie-talkie. "Bowser, listen. Those bastards have destroyed the one thing dear to us adults."  
  
Bowser gasped. "They destroyed the YMCA?!"  
  
"What? Oh, no, worse. The destroyed Starbucks..."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
"Yes. See, they must be stopped."  
  
"But...Oh, I'm so confused!!!" Bowser said, falling to the ground. "I...I can't make up my mind!!!!" Some light music began to play in the backround. "One of them has given me money! The other has given me love! And th-"  
  
"I know your not singing about this..."  
  
The music came to a stop and Bowser just muttered. "No...I'm not...-Cough-Bitch-Cough-"  
  
"I HEARD THAT! Now I see why you've drove Peach crazy!!" Yoshi sighed. "Listen, If you don't, I'll kill Mewtwo's friend!"  
  
"And...I should care about his friend?"  
  
"YES!!!" Over the walkie-talkie the sound of people running, things falling and objects blowing up was heard for a few seconds, then Yoshi's voice returned. "Listen to his pleas for help!"  
  
"Mew!"  
  
Bowser gasped again. "MEW!!! NOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Mew!"  
  
"Yes, it's M- Peach? What are you doing? Put the golf club down! AAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  
  
Static.  
  
"Hmm..." Bowser picked up a remote and pressed a button, causing him to disappear.  
  
---Maze---  
  
Ness and Link wandered around the maze. "Link, are we lost?" Ness asked.  
  
"Well, duh. Thats the point of a Maze." Link answered. They turned the corner and saw a old man walking up to them.  
  
"Help me!" He said, falling onto Link. "I've been trapped in here for 30 years! I'm hungry and thristy! HELP!"  
  
Link and Ness took a step back, looked at eachother and ran away from the old man.  
  
---Maple Theather---  
  
Bowser appeared next to a KOed Yoshi and Peach standing with a bent golft club, talking into one of Yoshi's flowers. "BOWSER! COME IN BOWSER!"  
  
"I'm right here..." The Koopa answered.  
  
"Oh Bowser!" Peach smiled. "Good thing you answered. Now listen to me. I want you to kill Ness and Link, then Young Link and Roy!"  
  
"Why not just wait till their all together? Only Ness and Link came into my maze..."  
  
"Oh! That's a good idea!" Peach said, clapping. "Let me go write that down." She turned away from the flower to come face to face with Bowser. "Hullo Bowser!" She greeted, walking past him with a smile.  
  
---Dirt Road, also not to far from the Lake---  
  
Young Link, Roy, Zelda and Malon made their way over towards a stand. "Hey, looky!" Young Link said, running over to the stand.  
  
Zelda joined him and her face went pale. "Are...those...heads?"  
  
"Yup!" Young Link nodded.  
  
"On...STICKS?!"  
  
"Yup!"  
  
Zelda turned away and ran towards a garbage can. Malon and Roy joined Little Link. "Hey, Link, what are ya doing?" Malon asked.  
  
"I wanna buy a head on a stick!" Young Link said, jumping up and down.  
  
Roy sighed. "Young Link, it's not safe to buy heads on sticks."  
  
Zelda staggered back, her head spinning. "Ooough...Hey guys, let's just head up there..." She pointed towards a giant sign reading, 'Pyschic Way'. "It smells pretty..."  
  
So the four entered Pyschic Way and were walking around. The smell of inscent filled the air and people running back and forth were everywhere. As they were walking, Malon heard a woman say, "Young Woman." Malon turned to see an old woman in a cloak sitting with tarot cards. "Shall I tell your future?"  
  
Malon nodded and walked over to the stand. "How much money?"  
  
"Ten Dollars if your in school."  
  
"Umm...yeah, I'll say I am." Malon reached into her pocket and handed the woman ten dollars.  
  
"Malon, what are you doing?" Asked Roy and he and Young Link ran back towards Malon. Zelda was busy drinking some coffee at a stand not to far from where they were.  
  
"I'm getting my future told!" Malon answered with a smile.  
  
"Yes, that is correct. My name is..." The Woman threw her cloak away and...  
  
"Hey, I know you!" Malon said. "I've seen you somewhere...I just don't know where..."  
  
"My name is Daisy!" Said the woman, or rather, Daisy! "And I'm here to tell your future!"  
  
"Daisy, I didn't know you could tell the future!" Said Mini-Link. "Well, to be honest...I didn't know she could do ANYTHING!"  
  
Daisy growled and said down. "Ahem. Ready?" Malon nodded and Daisy shuffled her tarot cards. The princess then layed all of her cards out on the table. "Pick Three." Daisy said. "They will represent your past, present and future."  
  
Malon nodded and reached into the many cards. She pulled out three and set them in the order she felt right. "Okie-dokie!"  
  
Daisy closed her eyes and began to hum. "Hum...Hum...To be or Nazi be..." She reached out her hand and flipped the first card over. It had a picture of a young girl surrounded in bubbles. (A/N: I'm just using my Clow Cards XD) "_The Bubbles_! It means you've had a enjoyable past up to this point in life."  
  
"Hm...I guess..." Malon said, rubbing her chin. Daisy began her humming and flipped the second one over. It had a picture of a elegent woman in a kimono with a mirror in the center.  
  
"Ah-cha!" Daisy said, sounding like and old man. "It's T_he Mirror_! It means your life now is being reflected in the opposite way you would want it to be. This could be good or bad!"  
  
Malon stared at the card for a second. "Does this mean...I won't fall in love with Bowser?!"  
  
"Maybe. It mostly means that you didn't wanna be here at the faire, hence why you ARE here." Daisy said, reaching for the last card humming again. "M-I-C! K-E-Y! M-O-U-S-E!" She turned the card around to show a woman in a very poofy dress holding a bouquet pf flowers with little cherry blossom falling around her. "_The Flower_!" Malon cheered. "If means your life is gonna end very happy!"  
  
"YEY!" Malon cheered. "That means I'm gonna fall in love with Bowser."  
  
"Or not." Daisy reached into her deck of cards and pulled out a card with a woman wearing a long dress and a headdress that covered her eyes with a big green jewel. "_The Dream._ It means your dreams will come true."  
  
Malon's eyes lit up, but before she could thank Daisy, Zelda screamed, "WHAT DO YA MEAN IT'S 15 BUCKS A DRINK! THAT'S BULLSH- Oh, this tastes soooo good..."  
  
"Uh-oh..." Young Link began to shift nervously. "This doesn't sound good..."  
  
Roy, Little Link and Malon quickly ran off to find Zelda before there was another Kaboom.  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: .......Sorry about this chapter.........


	7. What? Porn?

Disclaimer: Hmm...  
  
A/N: Hi everybody! I've got a grand Idea! I'm gonna write Nintendo a e-mail asking them if It's okay if I use their people in their story! YEY!!!! And now to say thank you to all those who reveiwed:  
  
**_THANK YOU UBER MUCHY!_**  
  
A/N: One last thing: Does Chapter 5 appear in full for you? It seems the bottom disappears whenever I read it, about the point when Ness jumps out of the porta-pottie.  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 7_

* * *

---Maple Theather---  
  
Peach handed Toad a little note. "Here Toad. I want you to go around and gather the men for a talk. Don't fail me!"  
  
"Ooooh, so NOW I'm important!" Toad moaned. "Why not give it too YOOOOOOOSHI! You seem to like YOOOOOOSHI so much. It's always YOOOOOOSHI who does this and YOOOOOSHI who does that! ARGH!!!" Toad was about to rip the note in half, but stopped as Peach began to push him.  
  
"Less talkie and more gettie." Peach said, pushing Toad out the door.  
  
---Pyschic Way---  
  
Malon, Young Link and Roy dashed from the tree covered path of Pyschic Way to see Zelda drinking the stand dry of all coffee. "Only the best things in life cost 15 bucks!" She said between sips.  
  
"Zelda, why are you drinking Coffee?" Malon asked. "I heard it's bad for you!"  
  
"COFFEE IS NEVER BAD!!!" Zelda screamed, slamming her fist on the bar. "NEVER! NEVER! NEV- Do you guys want something to eat?"  
  
"Sure!" All three replied, walking up to the stand for some food.  
  
---Maze---  
  
Ness was wandering around the maze alone and lost. "Linky! Linky! Where did ya go Linky!?" He screamed into the endless maze. "LINKY!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
"Huh? I'm right here..." Link said, from the other side of the maze's colored wall. The elf ducked under the cloth and appeared next to Ness. "Can we leave now?" Ness shook his head. "Why?"  
  
"Cause I don't know the way out!"  
  
"It's that way..." Link said, pointing towards the exit. "It was very easy to find it, I've been there thirty times already!"  
  
"Oh! Okay...Let's go! We still gotta call Richard Moore for Marth!" Ness ran towards the exit and dashed out and towards a pay phone, followed by Link. Ness put in a quater and dialed.  
  
"Moore Detective Agency!" Said the voice of a young woman over the phone.  
  
"Hullo there! My friend's Hooker has been murdered! Can you help?" Ness asked.  
  
"Ness!" Link said, stealing the phone away. "You need to be 18 years or older to call!"  
  
"Aw..."  
  
"Hello?" Asked the woman.  
  
Link put the phone to his ear and spoke. "Yes, my friend's hooker was murdered a few minutes ago. Can you do anything about it?"  
  
"We'd need-"  
  
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NEED! THE MURDERER! AAAAAH HE'S HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Eep!" Link covered his mouth and made a gun shot noise. "Ughuooosouhg stab...ough...I'm dying..." Link fell to the ground and dropped the phone.  
  
"LINK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ness ran over to his fallen friend and began shaking him. "You can't leave me like this!!! I'm just a lost little boy in a giant world!!"  
  
Link sat up, pushed Ness away and grabbed the phone. "So, are you gonna help?"  
  
"Okay. We'll be there in ten minutes." The woman said, before hanging up.  
  
"See?" Link said, standing up. "I am soooooooooooooooo cool."  
  
"Yeah, and so are these magents." Ness said, playing with some magents he just found on the floor. "Look! If you hold this one to this one, the first one runs away!"  
  
"Yeah...that's real nice..."  
  
---Pyschic Way---  
  
Toad dashed up to Daisy and handed her a note. "Daisy! Meeting! Now! Let's go!"  
  
Daisy stood confused. "Huh? Meeting? Really?"  
  
"Yes! Meeting! Now! Press the button!"  
  
"What? Button? You mean this button?" She held up a remote.  
  
"Yes! That button! Press! Now!"  
  
"Why? Can it help us? I don't like talking like this."  
  
"No! It can't! Just DO IT!" Daisy pressed the button and the two of them dissapeard.  
  
---Maple Theather---  
  
Peach was standing on a stage with Mewtwo, Yoshi, Daisy, Bowser, Toad and the last Cloaked Man in the audience. "Attention, noble guest!" She said, raising her hand. "I have come up with an idea! We shall attack those who destoryed Starbucks when they are all together, even though killing them when they are weaker and apart is the better thing to do!"  
  
Yoshi dropped his head into his palms and moaned, Daisy reached into her card deck and pull out a card, Bowser was picking his nose, Mewtwo was mediating and Cloaked Numba 4 was rubbing his hands saying, "Good...Good..."  
  
"Okay...so...now we're done here, let's head on back to our work." Peach said, begining to head out.  
  
"We can't." Peach turned around to see Yoshi standing up. "We can't go back to work."  
  
"Why?!" Peach yelled in surpirse.  
  
"Cause you said this meeting will take 15 minutes! We still have 14 Minutes to spare! And I'm gonna savor all of 'em!"  
  
"Grr..." Peach walked back to the center of the stage. "So what should we do?"  
  
"Dunno, entertain us Peach!" Toad said with a smile.  
  
"Hm...What could pass the time..." Peach said, rubbing her chin. "I know! I'm gonna have to practice singing for the finals, so...I'm gonna sing a song I heard on a play once!" She spun around and flipped her hair. "Weeeeeee! The Internet! Yes! That's what I'm gonna sing about! The Internet is really, really great!"  
  
"For Porn." Bowser added.  
  
"I have a fast connection, so I don't have to wait!"  
  
"For Porn."  
  
"Huh?" Peach looked at Bowser, shook her head and continued. "There's always some new site-"  
  
"For Porn."  
  
"I browse all day and night-"  
  
"For Porn."  
  
"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!"  
  
"For Porn!"  
  
"Bowser..."  
  
Bowser got up out of his seat and walked onto the stage. "The Internet is for Porn!"  
  
"What the hell!?"  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!"  
  
"Oh, you saw it too?"  
  
"Why you think the net was born? Porn, Porn, Porn."  
  
Peach sighed and slapped Bowser. "Bowser, why do you know this song?!"  
  
"Oh, Hello Prince Toadstool!" Bowser said, slapping Peach back.  
  
"Prince?! It's Princess. AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT SLAPPING ME!" Peach slapped Bowser a few more times before turning away to finish singing. "I'm glad we have this new technology!"  
  
"For Porn!"  
  
"Ugh. It gives us untold opportunities!"  
  
"For Por- Eep!" Bowser stopped mid sentance when he saw Peach giving him a very evil death glare.  
  
"From your own desktop-"  
  
"For-"  
  
"You can research, browse and shop! Until you've had enough and your ready to stop!"  
  
"FOR PORN!"  
  
"Bowser!"  
  
"Hehehe." Mewtwo, Daisy and Yoshi giggled.  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!" Bowser sang, moving up to Peach, who slapped him away.  
  
"It is not!"  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!"  
  
"Crazy Koopa!"  
  
"I up all night honking me horn to Porn, Porn, Porn!"  
  
The Princess's face went pale white. "Ew...that's just...wrong...prevert..."  
  
"Sticks and stones Prince Toadstool!"  
  
"PRINCESS!!! And I mean...what the hell do you look at? Is it like...Female Koopas? Or Humans?" Peach pondered.  
  
Bowser gave a goofy smile. "A Little of Both!"  
  
"Oh...gawd...my tummy hurts thinking about that..." Peach said, sitting down. "I guess only Koopas would look at porn on the internet..."  
  
"HAHA!" The crowd laughed, pointing at Peach.  
  
"Huh?" Peach looked around. "What? Is there something on my face?! GASP! AM I BREAKING OUT?!"  
  
"Nah, you just have no idea what your talking about! Ready Peach's henchmen?!"  
  
"Ready!" Mewtwo replied.  
  
"Ready!" Yoshi said.  
  
"Ready!" Toad added.  
  
"I'm not a henchman!" Daisy yelled.  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!" Bowser, Mewtwo, Yoshi and Toad sang.  
  
"Sorry Kate!" Yoshi said quickly.  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!"  
  
Yoshi stuck his head up again. "I masturbate."  
  
"My name is not Kate!"  
  
Bowser began poiting to Mewtwo, Yoshi and Toad. "All these guys unzip their flys to-"  
  
"Porn, Porn, PORN!" All the men sang. "Porn, Porn, POR-"  
  
"WAIT!!!" Peach screaming, stopping their singing. "First off, why they hell is my name Kate?"  
  
"Nothing else really fits..." Bowser mumbled.  
  
"You could have called me 'mate' or something..." Peach said, crossing her arms. "Now, before you start singing again, let me just clear this up. The only people who look at porn are Mario and Bowser. And don't try to say you do!"  
  
"Peach..." Mewtwo said, holding up a chart. "A recent poll states that 98 Precent of the worlds population go online and watch some form of porn!"  
  
"Yeah!" Toad added. "And 97 Precent of them are underaged!"  
  
"Ewwwwwww!"  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!" The guys sung again.  
  
"I hate Porn..."  
  
"The Internet is for Porn!"  
  
"THE INTERNET SHOULD BURN!"  
  
Bowser pushed Peach off the stage. "Grab your dick and double click for-"  
  
"Porn, Porn, Porn!"  
  
"Ouchy!"  
  
"Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn!" They all sung, harmonizing.  
  
"I'm leaving!"  
  
"Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn!"  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
"The Internet is for-" Bowser sang.  
  
"The Internet is for-" Bowser and Yoshi sang together.  
  
"THE INTERNET IS FOR POR-" The guys were cut off by Peach.  
  
"I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO BE SINGING ABOUT PORN!!!" The pissed princess yelled, storming off.  
  
Daisy and the Cloaked Guy clapped from the audience while the boys just muttered stuff not very nice towards Peach.  
  
---Town Square---  
  
Ness and Linky are walking up towards the entrance of the faire. "Link, why are we heading up this way?" Ness asked.  
  
"Cause we should find Zelda. She might be able to help us with this note." Link replied, holding up the note Mewtwo had dropped. "If we find Zelda, we find her, or rather, Peach's magic cell phone, and we can call Roy."  
  
"WIZARD!"  
  
Link turned to Ness, who was pointing to the north. The swordsman turned and saw the wizard in blue robes standing there, waving to all who past, with the sun shining on him with godlike radiance. Suddenly, a van came plowing through the crowd of people and slamed right into the wizard. A drunk Ricard Moore, Rachel and the tiny Conan hopped out of the car. "Oh no!" Ricard yelled, running over to the KOed wizard.  
  
"Is he okay?!" Both Rachel and Conan asked.  
  
"I crashed my van into Jesus!"  
  
"Is that Ricard?" Ness asked Link, who nodded weakly. "Oh...Okay..."  
  
Link coughed. "I'm not sure if this was such a good idea..."  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
A/N: That Chapter was by far one of the worst XD. The TV was on and I was just writing whatever I heard. Stupid song filled the entire story. Sorrry about that, I just had nothing really to write in that chapter. Don't flame ; ;


	8. Hey, Readers It's a plot hole

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story.  
  
A/N: **Thanky-wanky to all you reviewers!**

  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 8_

* * *

---Entrance to the Faire---  
  
"Um, Excuse me, Mr. Moore..." Link said kindly, walking up to Richard, Conan and Rachel. "But you ARE the guys who are here to help me with my friends murder case, right?"  
  
"Yup!" Conan replied.  
  
"Oh! Okay!"  
  
"I took the liberty of bringing some friends with me." Richard said, opening the back car door. "My lawyer." Jigglypuff stepped out wearing a tux. "My Doctor." Captain Falcon stepped out wearing Dr. Mario's clothes. "My Lawyer's Doctor." DK hopped out of the car wearing Captain Falcon's clothes. "And a mime." Mr. Mime jumped out of the car.  
  
"Ah..." Ness and Link said in unison with a dull tone.  
  
"Hey, Link..." Ness whispered. The Elf-boy bent down as to hear what the midget wanted to say. "How did they know to come here? I don't remember you telling them on the phone."  
  
"I don't know myself..." Link replied.  
  
"Hm..." Ness said, rubbing his chin. "Can you say, 'Plot Hole'..."  
  
"Nah..." Said Link. "It's more of a, 'Something's are best left unknown' kinda thing."  
  
Richard walked up to the two. "I don't mind butting in, but can you guys shut up! Why have you called us here?"  
  
"We have reason to suspect that are friends hooker has been murdered." Link told Richard, only to get him, Rachel and Conan do those weird facial close up looks from the show. "I...thought you knew that already..."  
  
"Okay then!" Conan said. "We're gonna have to gather all the people who knew your friend and his hoo-!"  
  
BOP!  
  
Richard Moore had just performed child abuse.  
  
"What have I told you about talking out of turn!" He yelled at the boy.  
  
Conan crossed his arms and looked away. "Fine, see If I ever help you again!" He muttered to himself.  
  
Rachel walked over to Conan and patted him on his head. "There, there Conan."  
  
"Now as I was about to say before that little runt interrupted me, Yes we should gather everyone you know at the faire for questioning."  
  
"That won't be needed." Everyone turned to see a tall, ghostly woman standing over them. "Because I am the hooker!"  
  
"It's a-a-a-a..." Ness stuttered, hiding behind Link. "HOOKER!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Richard, Rachel, Link, Conan and Ness screamed, dashing away, leaving Richards...um...'friends', behind. The Hooker gave chase, thus leading them into a Scooby Doo type chase scene. The five ran into a room with six doors, three on each side.  
  
"Quick!" Link yelled. "If we run into one door and come out another many times we'll be sure to lose the hooker!"  
  
So they ran into the first door and all five came out the sixth door, just as the hooker entered the first door. You know where I'm going with this, use your imagination! The group continued to run in and out of the doors till finally Rachel pointed out, "The Stairs!" The group stopped the stupid door scene and ran towards the stairs.  
  
"You can't get away from me that easily!" Hooker Ghost yelled, pulling a lever. The stairs the five were running on turned into a giant slide, causing them to slip down into darkness...  
  
---Stand at the Faire---  
  
Malon and Young Link were eating some chicken while Roy was trying to get Zelda to back away from the Coffee. "Zelda! You've HAD enough!"  
  
Zelda turned around and slapped him. "I'll Tell you when I had enough, you prissy pansy freak!"  
  
"Hey! I'm not Marth! You can't call me that!" Roy then punched Zelda in the face, sending her flying backwards into the stand.  
  
"Hubba-wa?!" Zelda gasped, standing up. "You can't hit me outside of the Super Smash Ring! I'm a GIRL!"  
  
"That's what Michael Jackson said..." Zelda jumped at Roy and tackled him to the ground and began punching him in the face, only to be kicked off and into the table where the kiddies were eating.  
  
"Hey!" The both yelled in unison. "You messed up my chicken!"  
  
"That's right!" Zelda said, standing up. "Our Chicken is messed up, WE ARE NOT PAYING! Come on kids!" She took Malon and Young Link's hands and began to walk away.  
  
"Zelda!" Said a white-headed wavemaster named Tsukasa.  
  
"Like, Oh my Gawd! Is that you Tsukasa!?" Said the princess, jumping up and down. She dropped the kids hands and ran over towards Tsukasa. "Oh, it's been already Five years..."  
  
"Yup!" Tsukasa replied. "I can't believe it...it feels like just yesterday we we're getting sorted."  
  
"And playing pranks on those stupid Hupplepuffs!"  
  
"Yeah! And you look just as beautiful as I rem-" Suddenly, Link, Richard, Ness, Conan and Rachel fell from the sky, landing on the poor guy/girl, crushing him...her...'it' to death.  
  
"TSUKASA!!!" Zelda yelled, falling to her knees. "You...YOU CAN'T KILL TSUKASA! NOT WHEN HE WAS FLATTERING ME!!" Using her magic, Zelda zapped the group off the fallen wavemaster and she quickly rushed to his side. "Everything is going to be all right!" She told Tsukasa.  
  
But Tsukasa leaned towards Zelda's ear and whispered, "...Rosebud..."  
  
Thus ended the short lived life of Tsukasa. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Zelda crying, pounding the ground. "He can't die! HE JUST CAN'T!!! OH TSUKASA!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Okay, I'm over it."  
  
Just then, the Hooker Ghost fell from the sky as well. "Haha! Gotcha!" Said Ness, grabbing onto the Hooker Ghost.  
  
"Now let's see who the Hooker Ghost REALLY is!" Richard said, pulling off the mask of the the ghost. The Hooker Ghost was...  
  
"MARTHA STEWART!!!!"  
  
Martha growled. "Yeah, that's right. It was me."  
  
"But...why?" Link asked.  
  
"I can answer that." Replied a police man who just appeared. "Martha was after the blood of the cows killed in the Slaughter House, as she is a bloodsucking vampire. But when your friend entered, she took the roll of a dead hooker instead."  
  
"And I would have gotten away with it too!" Martha yelled as the cops took her away. "If it weren't for you melding Smashers and that stupid rat!" Everyone turned to see Pikachu standing there, giving a demonic laugh.  
  
"Now that Martha Stewart is in jail, my dreams of become the only rodent house worker can come true!!!" The Pokemon laughed, running off.  
  
"Hmm, there is something I don't get..." Young Link said, thinking. "If Martha was HERE then who is in jail?"  
  
---Jail---  
  
"I'm telling you, MY NAME IS NOT MARTHA!!!" Screamed a very very pissed off Marth.  
  
---Faire---  
  
Richard smirked. "Another cased solved by Rich- HOLY SHIP! YOU!!" He yelled, pointing at Zelda. "YOUR ONE OF THE FINALISTS AREN'T YOU!!!"  
  
"Huh?!" Zelda asked, looking around. "Me? I am? Cool!"  
  
"Can I have your autograph?!" Richard begged Zelda. "I would want all four of the girls autographs who are in the final round of, 'The Sexiest and the Sluttiest!'"  
  
"What?!" Zelda replied shocked.  
  
"That's Right!" Came a woman's voice. "You, Me, Daisy and some girl called Rachel are all finalists in the Sexiest and Sluttiest Competition that is gonna be held here in five minutes!"  
  
Zelda turned and faced... "Peach..."  
  
Peach gave a very annoying laugh. "Hello Zelda." She snapped her fingers and Mewtwo, Daisy, Bowser, Yoshi, Toad and the 4th Cloaked figure stepped out into the light. "How else did you think you won those tickets, Zelly!?"  
  
"That never crossed my mind..."  
  
"BOWSER!!!" Malon screamed, running up to the giant Koopa.  
  
Bowser's eyes went wide. "Malon! It...can't be!"  
  
The two ran to each other and embraced in a giant hug. "Oh Bowser! Why did you leave me!!" Malon said, crying into Bowser's turtle skin.  
  
"I had no choice. I needed to become the best evil madman in the world before I could be good enough for you." Bowser replied.  
  
"You were always good enough for me!!"  
  
The two then began to cry on each other, while the others watched. "Hey, Link..." Ness whispered up towards Link. "I thought Malon and Bowser had never met each other before today..."  
  
"Me too." Link replied. "At least thats what the script said."  
  
"Yeah...so why are they crying over their past together?"  
  
"Hm..." Link thought about it for a second. "Plot Hole."  
  
"Nah, I think it's jus-"  
  
"Ness...This is a Pole Hole..."  
  
"Oh, and now your saying the other thing wasn't?!"  
  
"Yes. I am."  
  
Daisy wiped a tear away from her eye. "It's so sweet."  
  
Mewtwo began crying as did Toad and Cloaked Guy Number Four. Peach and Zelda were busy talking to each other about stuff that doesn't concern us. "What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Yoshi screamed, causing all of the bad guys to look at him. "We are supposed to stop them, remember!!!"  
  
"What, Bad Guys can't have feelings too!?" Mewtwo said before going back to crying.  
  
Yoshi fumed. "Cloaked Guy! Remove your Cloak and attack!"  
  
Cloaked Guy Number 4 Threw off his cloak to reveal...Gannondorf! "Ah-haha-ahaha-ha!" He laughed, but then went back to crying along side Mewtwo.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! FINE! I SEE NO ONE AROUND HERE WANTS TO BE A VILLAIN, THEN I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF!" Yoshi screamed, turning back towards Maple Theater.  
  
Roy looked on in surprise. "Um... Okay..."  
  
"Whoops!" Peach said in surprise, reaching for her pocket. "I'm vibrating." She pulled out her magic cell phone. "Okay, it's time for the contest!" She pressed a few buttons and the entire group disappeared.  
  
---Maple Theater, Top, Near Peach's Room---  
  
Yoshi stormed into Peach's room and walked up towards her bed. He felt around it and pulled out a remote. "Haha! This will do!" Yoshi laughed. "When I press this button, who wears those rings shall be...AHAHAHA!!" The demented Dino gave a evil laugh as he turned and left.  
  
---Maple Theater, Bottom, Stage---  
  
The group appeared on the stage. To their left sat five judges: Pichu, Luigi, Popo, Mr. Game & Watch, and Samus. "Okay Boys, take a seat." Peach said, pointing towards the seats in the audience. "It's time for big girls to play." All the boys left the stage leaving only Daisy, Peach, Zelda and Rachel.  
  
"Welcome everybody!!!" The Host, Kirby, yelled slidding out from the curtains on his knees wearing a little tux. "It's time for...THE SEXIEST AND THE SLUTTIEST!!!" The audience, which was about 98 precent males and the other 2 precent their dates, cheered. "Let's meet the bitchs! Frist up we gots Peach! And then three other girls, but none of them are gonna win." The other three growled.  
  
"Hey...Link..." Ness whispered to Link. "Why is Rachel up there?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Is this a Plot Hole?"  
  
"Yes, this is."  
  
Kirby lifted his hand...or arm in the air. "Are ya ready?! It's time to PLAY!"  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
Readers: ...-Are Very Lost-  
  
A/N: Yeah. Fear the contest. This chapter...I was just writing whatever popped into my head. The serect of the Rings is gonna be revealed next chapter! Also the person is the 'Insider' gets revealed as well! Sorry if this chapter was a little bit...um...'bad', to put it nicely. 


	9. The Sexiest and The Sluttiest

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Super Smash Brothers', 'Cased Closed', 'Barbie Girl', 'Where in the World is Carman Sandego', 'Aveune Q'...um...and more stuff...But I do own...this! -Holds up a peice of string- And what's on the string you ask? -Pulls up Heroscape-  
  
A/N: Alrighty then, let's get started. First off, notice as this story has lost the mid-evil touch to it? Don't worry, after the contest they should be outside again all happy. Also, the 'Maple Theater' isn't really a Moive Theater type thing with rows of seats, its more of a...hmm...well, table and chairs type thing. A Dinner type place, just called 'Maple Theater'. What, that's wrong? XD! Of course, you can picture it anyway you want.  


  
_The Ren-  
The Sexiest and the Sluttiest  
Chapter 9_

* * *

---Maple Theater---  
  
"So, um..." Kirby said, playing with his tie. "Are we ready to start?"  
  
"Sure!" Replied the audience.  
  
"Alrighty!" The puffball pointed at the four girls. "Are you girls ready?!"  
  
"Yup!" Peach screamed.  
  
"But First...let's meet our judges, shall we?" Kirby bounced over to the stands and pointed. "Judge Number One is Pichu!" Pichu stood up and bowed. "Next is...Luigi, then Popo...Okay, I'm done. LET'S GET READY TO RUBBLE!!!! The first contest of the 'Sexiest and the Sluttiest' is about to begin!"  
  
"Yey!" Cheered the audience.  
  
The evil little Yoshi crept down the stairs and peered his head outwards to see what was going on. His eyes fell upon Ness who still wore the ring, but around his neck and then towards Roy who was wore it around his finger. "Evil Laugh! My pawns are right next to each other. That makes it easier! But first...let's see what these girls have got."  
  
"The first contest is that ever so annoying question, 'If you had $1,000,000 bucks, what would you do with it'?" The puffball pointed towards Daisy. "Peach copyer, your up."  
  
Daisy walked up to a mircophone stand that had just appeared. "If I had 1,000,000 Dollars, I would spend it all on my work."  
  
"Your work?" Kirby asked.  
  
Peach raised and eyebrow. "You work!?"  
  
"Yes. I'm the leader of the B.H.F.T.'s 'Bugs have feelings too.' and we are protesting againsts the F.A.G.'s. 'Fruity Apple Givers'." Daisy said with a smile.  
  
"Fruity Apple Givers? What do they do?"  
  
"They give fruity apples to teachers..." Daisy's happy expestion turned to a sour one. "And they want to make it so that no worms can live in apples!! HOW RUDE IS THAT!!!!" She screamed, pulling a sign out from the air that read: 'B.H.F.T.' and she began chanting there slogan. "Bugga-Bugga-Boo! Bugs have Feelings Too! Bugga-Bugga-Boo! Bugs have Feelings Too!"  
  
"Right. Next up is Peach."  
  
Peach skipped up to the mircophone stand and pushed Daisy away. "Like, If I had that much money I would like, sooooooo totally spend it on a night out on the town, just you and me." She looked over towards the judges and winked.  
  
"Did you see that?!" Mr. Game & Watch whispered to his fellow judges. "She winked at me!"  
  
"YOU!?" Popo screamed. "She was soooooooooo looking at me!"  
  
"Pardon me, good sir..." Pichu said. "But why would she want a little brat and a 2-D freak instead on a world dominator to be?"  
  
"Cause I have a good personalty." Replied Popo.  
  
Mr. G&W laughed. "That means NOTHING in today's world."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
Popo tackled the poor paper man to the floor and the two began fighting. Pichu shrugged and jumped on top of them, joining in the fight. Luigi then joined in, only to get pulled out by Samus.  
  
"Why are you fighting?" The bounty hunter asked.  
  
Luigi sighed. "Everyone was doing it...I just wanted to be popular..."  
  
"Congratulations Peach..." Kirby said, dully. "You've managed to make the judges fight over you...again..."  
  
Peach smiled. "I try."  
  
"Next up is Rachel."  
  
Rachel stepped up and took the stand. "If I had that much money, I would spend if trying to find that Bastard Jimmy who ran away on some stupid 'case'!" She yelled, making the quotes with her fingers. "I doubt a 'case' can last up to...um..." She paused to try and remember how long Jimmy had really been gone. "Damn it! I don't even remember how long ago it was he left! I SWEAR I WILL KILL HIM WHEN HE GETS BACK!!"  
  
A very scared Conan looked around the room humming. "Is something wrong?" Asked Young Link.  
  
"No, nothing!" He said quickly. Young Link's eyes narrowed. Maybe a little TOO quickly...  
  
"Malon! Malon!" Demi Link said, poking Malon. "For some odd reason, I think that this little boy, is somehow, someway, Ji- Ooough..." His sentance never finished, as he was just shot in the back of the next with some shiny bolt of light, knocking him out cold.  
  
"Huh?" Malon turned around to see Conan humming again and a sleeping Y. Link lying on her. "Oh, that's nice dear." She said, putting her arms back on the table her, Bowser, Conan, Richard, and Young Link were sharing. Her eyes locked with Bowser as they just sat their staring at eachother, little hearts floating around. (Readers who didn't read top A/N: Table?!)  
  
"Hovering Hearts Batman!" Ness said, staring in shock at the floating hearts.  
  
"Fear not, Young One!" Said Link, taking out his sword and poking a heart. It popped and red ooze fell over Ness. "Now you may fear, young one!"  
  
Roy put his finger to his lips. "Shush! It's Zelda's turn."  
  
Zelda took the mircophone from Rachel. "I'd spend it on myself." The audience gasped. "What? Oh, do you REALLY think they're gonna do what they said?"  
  
"I was!" Yelled Daisy and Rachel in unison.  
  
Peach snapped her fingers. "Oh Pooh, foiled again." She pointed up at Zelda. "YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!" She placed her right hand on her forehead, closed her eyes and walked off the stage.  
  
"Alright! It's time to find out who the judges voted for!" Kirby stopped and remembered he hasn't yet explained how scoring works. "Each Judge will vote for one girl. At the end of all three rounds, the one with the most votes wins. If you get no votes for that round, you are kicked out. Ready?" The judges nodded. "Vote! Pichu!"  
  
Pichu pressed a button. "Peach."  
  
Luigi pressed a button. "Zelda." He gulped when he saw the glare from Daisy. "Uh, but what she said IS true. You have no B.H.F.T.!!"  
  
Daisy snapped her fingers. "Oh Pooh, foiled again." She pointed up at Luigi. "YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!" She placed her right hand on her forehead, closed her eyes walked off the stage.  
  
Popo pressed a button. "Peach." He glared up at Mr. G&W.  
  
Mr. Game & Watch pressed a button. "Peach." He glared over at Popo.  
  
Samus pressed a button. "Rachel. I don't like Bugs."  
  
"Now, if you'll be so kind as to look at the giant glowy board above us..." Kirby said, pointing towards a giant glowing screen. "Now look back at me." The veiwers just continued to stare at the screen. Kirby covered the mircophone and laugh. "Yes...they are like little buggies. They can't take their eyes of the light. Mawhuaahuahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"  
  
The Board lit up:  
  
Peach- 3  
Zelda- 1  
Daisy- 0  
Rachel- 1  
  
"Hm, since Daisy got no votes, she's out!" Kirby laughed.  
  
Daisy slid back onto the stage. "What you talkin' bout Willis?!"  
  
"Your out."  
  
"Oh...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Daisy spun around in circles before falling to the ground in sorrow.  
  
"Poor Daisy." Bowser said, shaking his head. "She nev- Ooooh, what is dis?!" He picked up a red book with a lion on the front. "T-H-E Space C-L-O-W. Hmm..."  
  
"Wait!" Malon screamed. "If you open that...I'll need to find a camera and some pretty costumes for you."  
  
"Sure!" Bowser ripped open the lock and read the first card ontop. "Windy!" WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZOOM! The entire theater was filled in a cold rush of air, sending all of the 51 remaining cards flying. "Oops..." He closed the book as a little plush-toy cat/angel/bear/lion thingy floated up with a yawn.  
  
"You woke me- AAAAAAH!!! GIANT TURTLES!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!" The little toy screamed before flying out the open window above them.  
  
"Flying Fairytales Batman!" Ness exclaimed, pointing at the flying plushie.  
  
"Fear not, Young One!" Link said, standing up. However, he ran out of breath by doing this and just stand back down.  
  
Mewtwo let out a evil laugh. Then another. Everyone turned towards the first table to see Mewtwo reading a comic book. "Where do these guys get their ideas!" Gannondorf and Toad sighed at Mewtwo's lack of intelligence.  
  
"Before we go onto Round 2, we have a word from our sponsors." Kirby clapped his hands as the giant screen showed two Newts with big brains talking.  
  
"I say, did you read the newspaper this morning?" Asked Newt 1 to Newt 2 in a British accent.  
  
"I did not!" Replied Newt 2, also in a British accent.  
  
"Well, you should! It was a jolly good one today, that it was!"  
  
"I say!"  
  
"Quite."  
  
"Is it time for tea?"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"Jolly Good!"  
  
The two Newts contiuned talking as the slogan appeared on the screen. "**E**xtraterrestrial **N**ewts love **E**merald **N**uts."  
  
The screen rolled back up and Kirby was back in the center stage. "All rightaru!" He said. "Round 2 is...SINGING CONTEST!!!" The audience gasped. "Yes, singing contest! Let's see your best songs girls! Rachel is up first."  
  
Rachel walked up to the podium and music from, 'Where in the world is Carmen Sandeagio' played. "He is a great detcetive, sloving cases for my great nation, till the time he went missing that one fateful day. Now I sit here waiting for this kid's parents to come home from vaction asking, 'Where in the World, is that Bastard Jimmy Kudo!'" Before she could go to her second verse, Peach shoved her out of the way.  
  
"Oops? Did I do that?" She asked, looking around the room with a evil smile on her face.  
  
Kirby walked over to the side of the stage and saw a KOed Rachel. "Poor Girl. Oh well! Peach, your up. Zelda went into the back to get changed."  
  
Peach flipped her hair and took the center stage. 'Barbie Girl' music began playing in the back as Peach began to bounce on one leg, then switch to the other, while swinging her head from shoulder to shoulder with a very scary face on. At long last, she began: "I'm Slutty Girl! In a Slutty World! Life in Latex...It's like the Matrix!"  
  
Yoshi rolled his eyes. "She only said that because it rhtymed..." He muttered.  
  
"I brush my own hair, and YOU can undress me anywhere. Life with Big Breast...It's a drool fest!"  
  
"I'll say..." Roy said, leaning forward, only to be slapped by Ness.  
  
"Uh, I have my own healthcare...Yeah that wil- And I don't wear underwear! I'm a Bimbo...who does the 'Limbo'!"  
  
Popo and Mr. Game & Watch let out a giant cheer as Samus just sighed. "Boys..."  
  
"Your a girl!?" Both yelled in surpirse.  
  
"If you don't think I'm fine, you can just kiss me where the sun don't shine! I'm just a simple lass...with a big ass!" She finished, spining around and pointing to her rump.  
  
Everyone clapped for the Princess, who bowed and stepped back. Kirby took the center again. "And lastly, Zel- whats this?" Kirby just gotten a cue card from a stage hand. "Read this? Okay. Now, it's time for the woman who you all came to see. Meet, Zelda the Slut!"  
  
Zelda appeared at the upper left corner wearing clothes that were really messy, along with a shash and too much make up. Music from 'Speical' began to play. "I can make you feel...Speical...when sucks to be you..." Zelda jumped out from behind the curtain and took center. "Let me make you feel...Speical...for an hour or two..." She began to walk down the stage towards the floor. "Your life's a routine that repeats each day. No one cares who you are-" She sat down on the edge of the stage, right next to Mewtwo. "Or what you say." She sung, touching his nose and then getting up and began swing her shash. "And sometimes you feel like a...Nobody..." She bent down towards Gannondorf, stopped, looked at him, then went right back to Mewtwo. "But you can be a Somebody...with me." She threw her shash into the audience and began walking around acting like a complete slut. o.O? Can any of you picture this?  
  
At last she came to Roy's table. "Hehehe..." Roy reached up towards Zelda's chest, only to slapped away.  
  
"Yeah." She said with a wink. "They're real." Zelda quickly ran over towards Conan and Richard and began singing. "When we're together, the Earth will shake and the stars will fall into the sea!" She sung, patting Richard on the head and moving towards Bowser. "Some come on baby, let down your guard." Zelda took a little card and pointed to Malon. "When your date in the bathroom, I'll slip you my card!" She turned and ran back to the stage. "I can just by looking that you've got it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!" There was an uneasy pause. "Foooooooor Me!"  
  
"Oooooh..."  
  
"Fooooooor Me! For Me! For Me! For Me! For Me! I can tell just by look that are especially hard...FOR MEEEEE!!!" She finished, throwing her arms up in the air, only to get thunderous applause.  
  
"WOW! And I though Peach was good." Kirby said, clapping.  
  
"Excuse me!" Peach said, pushing Zelda away. "But she didn't even write that song! Isn't that cheating?!"  
  
"No..."  
  
Peach snapped her fingers. "Oh Pooh, foiled again." She pointed up at Zelda. "YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!" She placed her right hand on her forehead, closed her eyes and walked off the stage.  
  
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Judges?"  
  
The judges talked amongs themselfs before pressing the buttons.  
  
Pichu pressed his. "Zelda."  
  
Luigi pressed his. "Zelda."  
  
Popo pressed his. "Peach."  
  
Mr. Game & Watch pressed his. "Peach."  
  
Both Popo and Game & Watch gave each other a death glare.  
  
Samus pressed her button. "Zelda."  
  
"All Right! Look up at the board!"  
  
Board:  
  
Peach: 5  
Zelda: 4  
Daisy- 0  
Rachel- 1  
  
"Since Rachel didn't get any votes this turn around, I'm sorry to say she's outta here!" Kirby looked at his watch. "Eeep! It's time for my potty break! I'll be back later guys!" He yelled, rushing off the stage.  
  
To Be Contiuned...  
  
A/N: Did you enjoy this chapter? The begining was a little rushed, rightaru? Oops. I lied. Looks like the 'Insider' and the Rings wasn't revealed. Sowwy ; ; 


	10. Those are some fine teeth

Disclaimer: Not mine! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Why do you need this every chapter?  
  
A/N: Hey-Hey-Hoo! This is it! The Last Chapter! Prepare yourself! This chapter will be:  
  
**1) Rushed  
2) Confusion  
3) Lack Humor**  
  
A/N: Turn back now! Read on...if you dare...  


  
_The Renaissance Faire  
Chapter 10_

* * *

---Maple Theater---  
  
Kirby walked back on the stage, rubbing his hand in a rag. "I must have been paranoid. All I heard was this waterfall." He tossed the rag away and spoke. "HEY-HEY-HOO!!! Welcome everyone to the last round of...THE SEXIEST AND THE SLUTTIEST!"  
  
"Yey..." Said the crowd, clearly bored.  
  
"But before we start, I have another add to show you. Please direct your attention to the screen!"  
  
The screen was dark for a while. A man's voice could be heard in the background. "From the director of 'Girls gone Wild' Parts 2, 5, and 7." A flash of a blonde screaming. "Nintendo is proud to present..."  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
Marth and Peach are dancing in a ball room. "I know your secret." Peach whispered.  
  
"You lie!"  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
DK is crying on the ground.  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
Yoshi, Popo, Kirby and Nana are all in a room together. "The results are in." Said Yoshi. "Popo is not your brother."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nana yelled.  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
Zelda and Luigi are lying in bed. "That was good..." Zelda muttered crawling up against Luigi. "I hope your wife doesn't find out about this."  
  
Luigi turned to Zelda. "You are my wife!"  
  
**_FLASH!  
_**  
Fox is pointing his blaster into darkness. "What do you want!"  
  
"You know what I want..." Replied a voice. "I want...YOUR IDENTITY!"  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
All of the Smashers are gathered around a bed that had Captain Falcon in it. Dr. Mario looked up and shook his head. "He's not going to make it."  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
Mr. Game & Watch and Samus are robbing bank with machine guns.  
  
**_FLASH!  
_**  
Ness swings a bat, hits a ball and it smacks Young Link in the face. He got up and looked around. "I can see anything! I'm Blind!"  
  
**_FLASH!  
_**  
Pikachu and Pichu are racing down the street. "Pikachu, just stop!" Pichu yelled. "They know you have the drugs!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"NUNS!!!"  
  
A group of Nuns were crossing the street. Pikachu slammed on the breaks and Pichu was sent flying out of the window.  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
All of the Smashers are gathered around a bed that had Pichu in it. Dr. Mario looked up and shook his head. "He's not going to make it."  
  
**_FLASH!_**  
  
Roy and Link stare at a box. "IT'S A BOMB!"  
  
The screen went back to black as an explosion was heard. "Coming this fall to a theater near you..." The screen turned into Zelda looking out her window and it was raining. "As the Rain falls down my window." There was a pause. "This film is not yet rated." The screen rolled up and Kirby was standing there with a shock look on his face. "Wow. I'm gonna go see that."  
  
"Return to the guise of which you were ment to be in!" Yelled Bowser who was wearing a pink kitty-cat dress. He jumped into the sky and swung a staff with a bird head top. "CLOW CARD!!!" He whacked Kirby right in the face and sent the little puff ball back into the wall.  
  
"Bowser!" Malon said, hopping onto the stage. "What are you doing?! He's not a clow card."  
  
The Koopa looked at the KOed Kirby. "Oh. He looks like one."  
  
"Well, then, I guess the contest is over." Samus said, standing up. "With 5 votes, the winner is Peach!"  
  
Peach smiled and waved to her fans as the Mario Brothers Theme played in the back. Suddenly, the lights went off and there was the sound of something sharp stabbing something. When the lights came back on, Peach was standing there with the master sword in her chest. "Oh! The Pain!" Peach said, spinning around. "The pain! It burns! The world is getting darker! Darker! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarker still!! Oh me, oh my! Why me! WHY M-" Peach fell to the ground as Link cheered.  
  
Richard and Conan ran up to Peach and felt her wrist. "She's dead!" Said Conan.  
  
"Ouch..." Kirby moaned standing up. "Who hit me on the head?"  
  
Ness raised his hand. "I did! I DID!"  
  
"Bad Ness! Bad Boy!" Kirby stood up and saw the 'dead' Peach. "Uh...The winner is Zelda! Yey Zelda!"  
  
Yoshi sighed and stood up and took the stage. "This has been the greatest waste of time, ever!" He yelled, stealing the microphone away from Kirby. He held up the remote and laughed. "Haha! It is time! Once I press this button, Ness and Roy will explode, thus causing a time warp. Once the time warp is open, I shall return to the past and save Starbucks! AHAHAHAAAAA!!!" Yoshi pressed the button and the rings on Ness and Roy began to glow.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Roy yelled, being dragged towards Ness. "I'm to young! I'M A MINOR!!"  
  
"Radioactive Rings Batman!" Ness screamed, holding onto Link. But the force of the rings were too great. Roy and Ness flew together and a giant flash of bright light filled the theater.  
  
"AHAHA!!" Yoshi laughed. "Now that they have been destroyed, my time wa- whaaaaaaaat?!"  
  
There was no time warp. Instead, there stood a boy about Ness's size, with the same face as Ness, just he had Roy's hair and armor. "What the hell is that thing?!" Mewtwo asked pointing.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Yoshi screamed, tossing the remote down. "Just like Peach to make a remote to MERGE the two idiots!"  
  
The Boy let out a evil laugh and in Ness's voice spoke, "Hello! My name is Noy!" His voice suddenly changed to Roy's. "No, It's Ross." It returned back to Ness's. "No, I thought I was Noy." "No, It's Ross." "Noy..." "Ross..." "Noy..." "Ross..."  
  
Toad tugged on Gannondorf's cape. "What are they doing?" Asked Toad.  
  
The ugly man patted Toad on the head. "I do not know."  
  
"NOY!" "ROSS!" "NOOOOOOOOY!" "ROOOOOOOOOOSS!" "Okay, Okay." Said Ness's voice. "We are named, 'John Smith'." "Huh?" "It's such a common name, it's gotta be are's." "Oh, I see." Replied Roy's voice.  
  
"Grrr!" Yoshi growled. "Nevermind that remote, EVERYONE! LET'S FIGHT!"  
  
Mewtwo, Daisy, Gannondorf, and Toad jumped onto the stage in Kung-fu type stances. "GASP!" Yelled Young Link, who had just woken up. "It's a Ghetto Ness!" He said, pointing at 'John Smith'.  
  
"Attack Form Beta!" Yelled Yoshi, readying himself to attack.  
  
"Who died and put you in charge?" Asked Daisy. "I would rather use, y'know, GAMMA!"  
  
"Yeah! I like Alpha better! I hate Beta!" Gannondorf complained.  
  
"First off, Peach died." Yoshi said, pointing at Peach's body. "Second, just shut up or-"  
  
"Excuse me, but are you forgetting me?" Said a very pissed of Zelda.  
  
"Zelda! Look! Starbucks!"  
  
"WHERE?!" Zelda jumped out the window as the remaining Smashers turned to who had said it and gasped. It was Young Link.  
  
"Yes, It was me." Little Link said with an evil laugh. "I have been working with Peach and Yoshi to revive Starbucks!" Young Link jumped up on the stage and joined the group. "I only pretended to hate Starbucks to gain your trust!"  
  
"Young Link..." Link said, falling to the floor. "No...why...WHY!!!!"  
  
Richard looked around the theater and picked up Conan. "I think this would be the time we leave." He whispered to the boy before they inched over towards Rachel, picked her up and ran out the nearest door.  
  
"I SHALL END THIS!" Yelled John Smith, who now had a combination of both Ness's and Roy's voices. He jumped onto the stage and withdrew his mini-sword at his side. The sword then burst into flames as John charged at the group. All dodged the swing, but John turned around and launched a PK Thunder (Without doing Ness's stance) right into Mewtwo's face.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!" Yelled Mewtwo as his body was fried under the blast of thunder and he fell to the ground.  
  
"Mewtwo!" Yelled Toad, who landed right near his fallen friends body. "No...now Mew will never be saved!" He looked up and glared at the weird combo of Ness and Roy. "You are gonna die!" Toad charged at the boy/man, giving a war like cry. But with one 'Shwoosh' of John's sword, the poor Toad was reduced to ashes.  
  
Yoshi fired his tongue at John Smith, but John dodged it with great speed, the went and cut it right off. "Ny Nonuge!" Yoshi screamed. "Ne Nut Nmoff Ny Nonuge!"  
  
John then attacked with a PK Fire, which went the poor Dino up in flames. Yoshi ran around the room blindly until he crashed into the wall and turned to ashes. "Haha! I never liked him anyway." Laughed Peach, standing up.  
  
The entire crowd turned towards Peach and gasped. "ZOMBIE!! ZOMBIE!!" The Bystanders, Smashers and Judges began running around screaming.  
  
Peach's face went pale white. "Where?! WHERE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" She shrieked before joining the people in the rush around the room.  
  
Daisy and Gannondorf landed together towards the edge of the stage, watching the people panic. "So, wanna just go home?" Asked Gannondorf.  
  
"Sure. Nothing better to do." The princess replied. So Gannondorf and Daisy left the Maple Theater, never to be seen again in this story.  
  
Young Link stood, center stage, watching everyone running around like idiots. He shrugged and turned to leave, only to be cut off by Bowser and Malon, blocking his escape path. "Hello Link..." Malon growled, giving him a death glare.  
  
"Good Day Malon." Young Link replied.  
  
"Why?" She asked. "Why did you side with THEM!?"  
  
"Because...the promised me..." Young Link turned away. "A remake of the 1980s Zelda TV Show!"  
  
"All this...for a show?"  
  
"Yes, This time, it will be real! I wouldn't have brown hair!!!" (A/N: That 80's version is scary and I've only seen 2 Episodes on the Super Mario DVD thingy o.O)  
  
Bowser charged at Young Link. "Return to the gu-" He sentence was cut short by a quick jab to the gut which knocked him out.  
  
"Bowser!" Yelled Malon, running to the fallen Koopa's side. She glared up at Young Link. "You! You're not the Link I know!"  
  
"But I am." Young Link bent down to Malon. "I am your father."  
  
Malon got up and backed away from Young Link. "No...It can't be!!"  
  
"But it is."  
  
"No, really, It can't! We're around the same age."  
  
Young Link snapped his fingers. "Damn. Oh well."  
  
Zelda, at that very moment, smashed through the wall, flames in her eyes. Her appearance had stopped the people from running around like idiots. They all stared at Zelda, now knowing the true meaning of fear. The coffee loving princess made her way up to the stage and grabbed Young Link by his collar and brought him up to her face. "How _dare_ you say there is a Starbucks, when you see there is not." She whispered, her very breath holding an icy touch of death. She lifted her fist and was about to beat the poor Link to a bloody pulp, if not for what Peach had said.  
  
"Don't hurt him!" She yelled. "He has nice teeth!"  
  
Indeed, Young Link's teeth were prefect. They were white, straight and glimmered every time he smiled. "Woah...she's right..." Said Ness/Roy, staring at his teeth in awe.  
  
"Quick!" Peach said, looking around. "Robin Hood! Get Robin Hood!" Her eye's widened when she saw him. "Robin Hood! Please! Save that poor boy!" She yelled over towards Link.  
  
Popo came up behind Peach and placed his hand on her shoulder. "That isn't Robin Hood, that's a man in green tights."  
  
"ROBIN HOOD!!" She screamed, running out of the Maple Theater on a search from Robin Hood.  
  
There was a deadly silence. Zelda, at long last, decided to beat the poor kid to nothing. "Okay! I'm happy!" Zelda said with a smile. "Who wants to go home?" Everyone cheered and ran out the hole in the wall that Zelda had made.  
  
---Entrance to Faire---  
  
Zelda, Link, John, Peach, Bowser, Malon and a Bloody Young Link where heading towards the car in Parking Lot #1. "Hey, just wondering..." Link wondered. "How do you break the spell? You know on Ness/Roy?"  
  
"Oh that's easy! You take the rings off." Peach said, as a giant flash of light engulfed the entire faire. Once it died down, there stood Ness and Roy. "Yey! See, I'm not a that dumb."  
  
The group passed through the ticket booth and passed by the lady with the bell. "HEAR YE, HEAR YE! GET- Aw who am I kidding..." She muttered, throwing the programs to the ground. "Angst!" She yelled, stomping on them. "Angst, Anger and Pie!"  
  
---Jail---  
  
Marth was lying on his bed, watching a bug crawl across his floor. "Hey Martha, your free to go." Said the police man, unlocking the cell door. "We caught the real Martha."  
  
"Let me go!" Yelled Martha. "I'm too sexy to be put in jail!"  
  
Marth sighed and left the jail. He looked up towards the sky as the spirit of Fox appeared infront of him. "The force will be with you." Said Fox. "Always."  
  
The prince nodded and knew what he must do. Revive Starbucks.  
  
---Driving---  
  
Zelda was sitting in the front seat, humming a happy tune as she drove along. Next to her sat Roy, who was buckled up and holding onto his arm rests for dear life. In the back sat Bowser, Malon, Ness, Peach, Link and Young Link. Needless to say, the six were crushed together. "Did we all have fun?" Asked Zelda.  
  
"Yeah..." They replied in unison.  
  
"Good!" Zelda said with a smile. "Because I just got these tickets to Hershey Park for free!" With that, Zelda stomped her foot on the gas and speed off into the night, along with her six hostages.  


  
_THE END!_

A/N: So? Was it as bad as I think it was? Yes? It was? BOO-HOO!! Hehe. Hershey Park! Yey! I like that place. Maybe I should make a...squeal o.O

A/N from the Future: Um...Yeah...I ment to say Squeal...-Looks around- Yeah...Squeal... .


End file.
